Nightmares

[gooseenthusiast88]

I was sexually assaulted in August. It was a prolonged, 5 day ordeal. My mental health has unsurprisingly taken a real nosedive. My GP has put me on Mirtazipine and Propranolol and I’m getting counselling from a charity.

The thing that is having the biggest negative impact is the nightmares. I’ve never suffered with them before, but they’re truly awful. I wake up from a horrendous nightmare where I have to relive what happened to me and I’m frozen in fear, absolutely convinced he’s in the room. I’m so scared I can’t even move to look around and check. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to stop them. I’ve had to buy a night light because the dark is so utterly terrifying. Some nights I don’t even bother going to bed, because I can’t handle having another one.

Miggt it be worth trying something like phenergan? (Not 100% sure if spelt that correctly). It’s the only thing that works for me sleep-wise. I have sleep issues and nightmares for a different reason - bipolar. It takes the edge of my anxiety so that I can bear to lie in bed and wait for sleep. Also if I have a nightmare of wake up in the night, I can roll over and go back to sleep. I’ve tried a few things and it was the only one that helped me. Also it’s an antihistamine so easier option to take more frequently. A lot of women find them as an option during menopause as that can also massively impact sleep.

My advice would be to definitely keep trying different option, as not sleeping makes everything a lot worse really quite quickly in my experience.

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a terrible, frightening experience. All the best with trying to process the trauma. Take care.

I’m up this early and messaging for travel reasons no insomnia.

Thank you for replying. I’ve never had phenergan before but I have heard of it. I’ll definitely give it a try - I’d try anything at this point, I’m so desperate for sleep.

You are right - lack of sleep does make it worse. My mum came to stay with me for a few weeks right after it happened and having someone else here helped, but she has had to go home (4 hours away). I don’t want to get stuck into a habit of having her come back and forth, so hopefully if the phenergan works more sleep will make me feel better.

Have you ever heard of bi-phasing sleep?

Studies of sleeping habits show that when people have no external cues about time they revert to a pattern of sleep where they have a deep sleep, then wake for a while, then a lighter second sleep. And there is a theory that this is our natural pattern but it was disrupted by the Industrial Revolution that tried to mould a work force into an 8 hour sleep pattern for convenience, and the advent of the electric light. I just want you to know that being awake in the wee hours isnt wrong or broken. Some cultures have the second sleep as a siesta and are healthier for it,

I’m guessing that you can probably get one full (4 hour) sleep cycle before the night mares during the first part of the night. (Typically a sleep cycle has about 90 mins of non REM sleep of which there are three phases, then a period of REM or dream SLEEP. And then the cycle repeats.)

Most dreams aren’t remembered, except for the last round as we emerge from the deeper sleep.

My recommendation is that you get up when you wake up. Have a cup of something warm (not coffee, maybe a decaf tea like rooibos or camomile) and distract your head for a while with a book, or a nice series (choose carefully ) or a podcast. Or get something useful done like the ironing. Keep the lights fairly low.

You're going to need to create a practice for waking from a nightmare - a way to anchor yourself to reality. Phrases like “I am safe”, “I am ok” “I am here” and deep breathing. Move if you can even if you just start with your fingers, hold a lovie. It wouldn’t be the worst idea to get a dog. Calling the Samaritans or rape crisis might be an option if you need human connection. Keep a little chocolate by your bed because taste is a very strong anchor into the here and now, Right here and now in this second you are safe, and it’s ok.Keep coming back to the safety of the present moment,

The dreams are part of the healing process. I know this sounds bonkers but thank your brain for doing this difficult work for you, it’s figuring out what to do with this experience and a lot of this happens when you’re unconscious.

One of the difficulties of sleep deprivation is that brain has to catch up on the backlog of REM and it dreams more.

The second phase of sleep can be tougher because you are more aware of the dreams and it’s going to take real courage. I have found it helpful to talk to myself in the third person, and say “ok, I trust that you know what we need to do brain, and that you’re taking care of me”. But I know this is easier to write than to do,

I’m so sorry this happened

Please feel free to disregard all of the above if it’s not helpful. Sending you love and healing.

Thank you so much - that’s all very interesting and very helpful information. I will definitely be taking it all on board and try to use it to help. I suppose I can try them separately and see what helps.

I think I’ve gotten myself into such a state about it and I’m running on such little sleep that I can’t see a way to change it. Your ideas have given me a lot to try though.

I really appreciate you taking the time to explain all of that to me.

Are you having EMDR treatment for the trauma? I think that's probably what you need. I completely understand the nightmares, I also have them, thankfully mine are not daily probably 2-3 times a week so I can't predict them and just have to hope for the best when night time comes. A soft plushie teddy really helps me OP, you feel like such a baby holding it but it honestly does help. Have you tried magnesium? I think it has helped to reduce the frequency of mine.

Were you getting the nightmares before starting on the mirtazapine? Just a thought. It is listed as a side effect. Obviously it would also be completely understandable to have nightmares after such an ordeal too, I'm so sorry you went through that. It'll take time to process for sure. It's just a consideration. Is there another medication you could try? It's understandable you want to try and sort the sleep side of things out.

I’ve never heard of EMDR treatment, but I’ll have a look into it. I’ve started taking magnesium this week, so I suppose I’ll see if they help - thanks.

I’ve been having nightmares consistently since it happened so I don’t think it is the mirtazipine - I’m not sure it’s really doing much to help either though, so it might be worth looking at other options.

My GP did offer me a short course of sleeping tablets just so I could get some rest, but I’m worried about taking them. I can’t help but think that the night I take one would be the night that he comes back. It’s all so frustrating. I used to be so strong and it annoys me so much how much I’m overthinking everything all the time.