What can I do when I feel trapped, ideas?

[fishtank12345]

Hello

So I can not drive and we don't live within walking distance to nice places even parks.

I am a full time carer stay at home mum. My 2 kids are autistic one being PDA the other adhd.

I have daily stress and I am convinced that I have ptsd. Dealing with my pda child is severe mental torture for any mother to be subjected to. I cry a lot now.

I have paid for a couple of rounds of that famous therapy website, but did not find it much actual help past the me feeling validated part of it.

Since its my actual inescapable life that has destroyed a lot of me, I feel trapped. I have no peace even in my own home.

I need some ideas on going out and doing things on my own, I feel like that will help me feel like a person again... I just cant seem to get started and burnout means my head isn't helping me come up with ideas, I am not really interested in anything anymore.

I used to study nutrition and that has stopped due to the stress of everything. There is never any time for me. My husband is not much use with advice, that's a whole other issue, but I feel very lonely.

That sounds very hard, especially with an unhelpful partner.

Perhaps start with going out to a coffee shop if you have one nearby? Take a book or something like crocheting if that's something you'd be interested in. Do a bit of people watching and just feel the peace of being out of the house.

Do you get a break from looking after your children when your husband takes over? Do you get time to yourself?

I sympathise and have also been in a trapped situation for a long time. You start to lose touch with who you are as a person, what you enjoy and care about. How often do you get child-free time? Are you on a bus route? Can you cycle?

I hear you OP. I only have one child but she’s severely disabled- I find (now she’s 8 and able to mobilise herself in her wheelchair) that I’m even more glued to the house unless we are out doing something for her (I can take her to the zoo but that’s exhausting for me because it’s really hilly (extremely sloping at many points you can’t avoid), or other places she likes to go to - but she wants fast paced walking (almost running pace) and very active “dancing” at home (me flinging her around). She’s too heavy etc etc but I try anyway.
when she’s at school I work a few hours a day (mostly outdoors at a school with children who are unruly to say the least).
I don’t know what it’s like to relax any more.
Any time I get free I try to paint (that became a thing for me in 2020). I fall asleep if I read.
The things I’d try - walk with headphones on. Walk anywhere.
Try knitting or other craft based activities you can pick up and put down easily.
Try reconnecting with a friend.
Go to a pub and have lunch or a wine.
if you can get a regular free time a class (if funds allow).
Gym? Exercise class?
What did you enjoy before children (and why- because there might be something about why you enjoyed it that you could do in a different format if you can no longer do it).

Sorry to hear about your situation too. Thank you for all the great suggestions. I can definitely get some ideas on where to go and what to do now. A café with a book sounds just lovely or a lunch at the pub, I am not used to being relaxed either, its strange when I have any alone time , not that there is much, but when there is... I find it hard to come down to normal just "being" state, if that makes sense. I think I am so overstimulated myself.

I just worked and clubbed and shopped and hung out before kids to be honest, then I started the nutrition study (online different courses and own research and self study) and I am so relieved the clubbing stage of my life is done actually so... I guess I am now finding a bit of my self post having my children. Its strange. I am more a cream tea woman now lol... actually there.. another idea, a cream tea for 1 lol. I also want to develop skills like baking and cooking as I am not the best in the kitchen lol, but again, its exhausting lol