How do you change yourself?

[grumpyandflat]

how do i change myself? My attitude / personality/ character? I’ve learned today that a colleague thinks I’m always grumpy, not happy, and generally ‘flat’….
when he asked me why i was grumpy, i answered I’m not I’m fine ? His reply was oh well, ok not happy then you’re just like… flat.

what??
i was literally just doing my work. Am i supposed to sit there with a huge grin on my face whilst underpaid and overworked?
Then i come home and find my youngest child tells her biggest sister that I’m boring.

so i feel like my general character must be just that, grumpy flat (and fat) and boring. No wonder i don’t have any proper friends i guess.
it’s made me feel so down. How do i change?

When people at work used to say to me “you’re miserable” I would reply “only in here”. How does he want you to behave when you’re sitting all day putting up with wankers like him?

You don’t. Why do you want to change based on the opinion of some bloke who has his own issues? There’s nothing wrong with you just because he says so

He’s projecting his own faulty beliefs onto you.

Thank you.
i know I’m down in the dumps lately, i am struggling, but i try to not take it work and generally just crack on with life and work…
but it does make me wonder if this is everyone’s opinion of me and why friends don’t stick around.

THIS
As for your child , try not to take it personally - unfortunately kids are honest and act up with the ones they love and feel most attached to AKA patents (in my case , me. Their dad less i suspect - co-parent )

Well we can’t know how you’re coming across but he has alleged that there’s a difference between you and other people.

Do you walk in and say good morning, ask people how they are, give them a smile? Do you join in with office chat? Do you ask after their relatives/pets/recent holiday? Join in the tea run?

You don’t have to do all of the above and you don’t have to be be orgasmic with joy over your daily task list, but you can be grateful to be in paid employment and well enough to be there, and you can muster up the energy to contribute towards making your workplace a positive experience for you all. IF one person in an office is a bit of an Eeyore it does have the potential to drag everyone down.

Maybe you already do all that, in which case he’s being weird. Do you?

It depends if you think there could be some truth in what they are saying and if you want to change.
You say you are struggling so some therapy might be a good idea to look into what is going on with your life and your self esteem. It might help to have an independent opinion and some support just for you.
Good luck