Fucking anxiety

[StrangeSenseOfCalm]

I'm feeling so pissed off with my anxiety today.

It started as post natal anxiety 14 years ago, continued as OCD/emetophobia since then. I've spent thousands on therapy, currently on 200mg of sertraline and having twice weekly therapy, and still my anxiety is really high today.

I'm so tired of it all.

What are you anxious about, specifically?

Anxiety is the emotion that tells us when there's something that's too important to ignore. So when it's telling you to check for traffic before stepping into the street, or triple checking you have your passport before setting out to the airport it's very useful.

When it's telling you your situation is bad – work, relationship, financial – and you need to do something about it when you can't then it's understandable but not necessarily helpful.

And when it's telling you there's something to worry about, when there really isn't it can be awful. But, it is always trying to keep you safe and happy – even when the message is unhelpful or based on the fears of a child or simply plain wrong. Has anyone advised you to view anxiety as a scared child that needs you to reassure it that you, the adult, is in charge?

I don’t think that inner child trusts that I am a competent adult.

Specifically today I’m anxious about travelling abroad over half term. That a few of my colleagues are ill, there are loads of bugs around. What if we are ill on holiday? What if I am sick on the plane/when we are there/when we are due to fly back? What if we get covid before we are due to go? Can we cancel? Will I lose all the money? How will my ASD son cope if we can’t travel? What if we get covid when we are there and are really ill? What if we get stuck there? And on and on and on in various “what if” scenarios that just loop like a greatest hits of my fears.

Most helpful thing my therapist ever said is remember - thoughts are not facts !!! They are just thoughts and for every what if : I get Covid remember what if I wake up and someone gifts me a million , you don’t know if any of them could come true so why focus on the scary thought x

I feel for you. I’m lucky that mine never got that bad before I went on Prozac which was really effective for me. Son had sertraline which worked a bit in that it helped the physical symptoms but it didn’t stop the thoughts. He was just glued to the sofa ruminating as opposed to something more active.

he ditched the sertraline with encouragement of GF and predictably fell apart 6 months later. Been in talk therapy for a while now which helps his sense of reality but he said that the somatic therapy sessions he’s had have had the biggest impact on his physical anxiety response which is amazing considering he was basically born anxious (he’s autistic)
I wish I could take your thoughts off you and stick them in a jar.

Yes, it sucks. Sympathies.

Sorry OP - it’s tough. I was first diagnosed after my son was born. Anxiety is shit

Oh sweetie, I absolutely feel your pain.

I was diagnosed with GAD when I was in my early 20's (i am.mid 40's now) but realistically i have suffered with it since i was about 10.and I have had horrific times and not so horrific times over the years.

When pregnant with dd I was under social services, MAT, child protection team because of my anxiety. I was utterly convinced someone was going to tell me it was all a joke and dd wasn't mine and take her away.

And as much as people mean well with things like "fake it til you make it" and "you must know why you are anxious" I can hand on my heart say sometimes there are times when I have absolutely no idea why my anxiety flares. There are times when incan pin point what triggers it, but more often than not it is just a deep sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I totally don't have the answers but i wanted to say i absolutely understand how bloody awful it feels. I have said similar myself. But if you need a safe space to talk then we are here to hear you!

I can't help you get rid of your anxiety today, but it might be an idea to have a chat to your GP about changing your meds. 200mg is a relatively high dose and if you've still got major anxiety it might be worth trying something else. One thing might not work and something else might be a miracle pill.

For me, 50g sertraline changed my life. My friend couldn't tolerate it and ended up thriving on citalopram. It might be a good idea to chat about trying some other things, as you might not have found your ideal med yet.

I used to be anxious about everything, but on sertraline I let a lot more just wash over me, and never get that actual biting feeling of anxiety unless it's in response to an appropriate situation.

The best I think you can do at the moment is to keep yourself as busy as possible - that's the only thing that helps me when I'm super anxious.

Wrong way around, the competent adult is looking to the child for reassurance – it's the anxiety raising all those questions, reading them I can 'hear' them in a child's voice.

There's no point in (you) trying to answer each question that anxious you is conjuring up, it'll only be replaced with another one. Go the opposite way: "I'll cope, that's what I'll do".

Because that's what we humans do, every day in everything from the boringly mundane to the life changing decisions. Every day you've dealt with whatever life has thrown at you – mostly without even thinking about it, sometimes with great resourcefulness.

Your record at getting through difficult days stands at 100%. Remember that when you think you can't cope.

My child’s CAMHS psychologist recommended plunging her face in cold water to help the body release dopermine when she’s panicking. Easier to do than a cold shower! This might help depending on your level of anxiety.

You could also look up the butterfly hug if you haven’t come across it before.

Sorry to hear it's really bad at the moment. I find going away really heightens my anxiety because of the lack of control/ all the unknowns. Once I'm away I'm much better.

You're catastrophising on the unknowns with all your sickness worries. Like pp said they are not facts, but I understand how hard it is trying to challenge these thoughts. Can you write all your worries down, then go back to the list at a set time of day, almost give yourself a worry hour? Then park any other worries that appear on a list for the next days hour? You might be able to see them differently this way?

I’ve had anxiety most of my life it’s rubbish. Currently in 150mg sertraline don’t think k it does much, I have depression too

MY DD has anxiety and OCD and her life is hell.

I wish there was a magic pill for us all