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Husband has no sympathy for me even though he has mental health issues himself

2 replies

Howisitfair028293 · 21/10/2025 08:41

I'm feeling very angry right now. In the past my husband said he didn't believe in mental illness and that depression and anxiety were made up. Ridiculous.
This was until he experienced it for himself. He ended up suffering from severe depression and psychosis ,lost his job and hasn't been the same since and now doesn't work. He has become the illness. It defines him.
Due to this you would think he would now understand or have a bit of empathy for others but no.
His problems have been ongoing for the past 5 years. During that time I have had to carry the mental load, look after him, the children, deal with countless medical professionals with him, attend appointments , work full time, all the house admin, the shopping, all errands, the school runs and everything else because he doesn't leave the house.
I am now starting to struggle massively and feel like im at a breaking point. I'm so tired but don't sleep well, im very anxious and feeling a lot of despair.
I have mentioned this to him or he has asked me what's the matter and he doesn't say anything back to me. Doesn't offer me any support. Infect he has laughed on a couple of occasions. I've called him out on it but nothing changes. Why am I not able to feel fed up or struggle? Is it because it will take the limelight off him? I'm starting to see him as incredibly selfish

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 21/10/2025 08:54

This has been an ongoing problem for you for so long. You are allowed to leave him if the idea of going on like this is unbearable. Yes, it will be hard but you will then be able to live your life again.

Jenkibuble · 21/10/2025 11:58

I am sorry to read this.....

I know a few people who hold a similar view about MH and they refuse to admit when they are struggling (refuse counselling etc)

He sounds self absorbed - perhaps he doeosnt like the attention shift away from him - god forbid he will have to step up.

I too struggle with my MH and I know I let it define me, BUT I hold down a job (have to - I am a single parent) I am guilty of withdrawing though so know that it affects others in some respect.

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