I can't explain how I feel

[Littlelamb14]

Like I don't feel like me. Or I'm not me. I barely recognise myself or others. I'm struggling to remember things, when I do remember something it doesn't even feel like it's my experience. Every thought and feeling feels so far away. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, just nothingness. My awareness has gone down hill. Like I'm zoned out. I don't know how to explain this but I have one person my mind drifts to, but there's no real thought or feeling behind it, it's just there, from the minute I wake til I sleep. He's not of great significance to me, was a friend for a small amount of time, people come and go, I'm just confused why he's my first thought yet seems so far away, other people hold more significance yet I don't have the same feeling, no one else pops into my head, I can only describe my mind as blank with a mere very quick thought of him that happens very often.
I've been feeling like this for months

Hey, I didn't want to read this and run. I hope you're okay.

Can I suggest you talk to your GP about the way you are feeling, because it sounds like you might be dissociating from yourself, which can be something that happens as a result of stress or depression. Please don't just drift along without talking to anyone, even if the GP can't offer an immediate solution, they might be able to offer some insight into next steps for you to feel more yourself again.

Please take steps to take care of yourself.

What you've described is exactly how I feel. I'm worried about explaining it to my GP because they have been very unhelpful so far

Once you know what you want your GP to help you access they are often much more helpful.

Sometimes having a name for what you are experiencing can help as a starting point for accessing support (even if it isn't a 100% match). Have you looked at a condition called DPDR (Depersonalisation-Derealisation Disorder)? Have a look at this link (from MIND) and see if you think it feels familiar. Once you know what treatments support groups mention as being helpful when you speak to your GP, you can ask them to help you access that kind of treatment.

It's frustrating to have to self-diagnose before going to the GP, but it's the best way to get more from them in my experience.

I feel like it's similar to what I get, it's like I'm slightly drunk or walking around in a bubble so things said to me doesn't go straight in my head, or I'm slightly clumsy, can't concentrate on anything ect? With me anxiety causes my to tense up and i take shallow breaths without knowing I'm doing it, I went years luke this. Now I'm between medications I get it sometimes but can't stop it because I can't physically relax and breathe normally!