Is my boss a bully or am I too sensitive?

[Bayleaftree63]

Struggling with my boss. I feel he has it in for me. Whatever I do he never seems happy. I worked my backside off for a year on a project, I hardly got any praise, other than what do you want me to say? It was in your objectives? Then essentially took the credit for my work. I just feel utterly defeated by him, I dread 1-2-1s as I think what is he going to moan about now?

I can feel my mental health getting bad again. I had some time off last year. In my return to work interview he said “this can’t keep happening [me being off]”. I remember it clear as day. I’m now terrified to have another relapse. I take 200mg of Sertraline and have done for years.

YABU - you’re too sensitive
YANBU - he sounds a bully

I’m older than you and looking back with hindsight, I’d move jobs. This obviously depends upon whether you are able to do that, and also whether you want to. No job is worth your mental health and you sound very wobbly as it is. Other option is bringing it up with HR. Good luck 🤞

I agree no job is worth your mental health I would leave it will give you back a sense of controlling your own life You need to see there are other jobs out there Being unhappy in your job is miserable but not something you can't change

He certainly doesn't sound like a very good people manager. That's not enough info to say whether he is a bully or not but I doubt you are too sensitive.

He shouldn't have said that you can't be off sick for your mental health again. I presume he has no medical qualifications. I doubt he would have said that if you'd had a migraine or flu.

He's not worth your MH. Leave as he won't change.

Most managers are good at managing workload, but are terrible with managing people. It's a leading cause of people resigning. They forget that people are human and not some mindless corporate drones who merely exist to work. My manager is the same. We rarely see eye-to-eye anyway and I've just had a 1:1 with them today, and yes, they did stick their nose in and pry a little bit. I work from home 80% of the time and I've not been going to the office days because of afternoon sickness, I'd either have to take time off sick or reduce my hours otherwise, or... suck it up and accept being unwell for half the day and put up with people talking shite about me. The ball is in their court. If you can and are able to; change jobs. Otherwise try to stick it out. If your health has deteriorated already, it'd be wise to change jobs sooner rather than later.

Good luck xx

He sounds like a complete knob - make a plan and find a new job. He won't change and it's not worth ruining your mental health for.x

Find a new job! Put your energy that you would have focussed on your boss onto a job search.

My conclusion on these things is that if someone is a bullying c&&& to you, then they can handle it back. I don't mean be nasty but with people like this you can speak freely and be quite direct because it's the language they understand.

Obviously it's up to you if the job is worth it - if it is then stay, and if its not then leave. Its the company's loss at the end of the day if they continue to employ bullying managers then they will have a bad culture and a higher turnover. If you do leave write a scatheing review on Glass Door.