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Original poster

Counselling

5 replies

Sanctumest · 20/10/2025 16:44

I have had counselling in bursts for years, much of it through a charity, and cannot say it’s helped particularly. I have just started with a new therapist and I feel incredibly resistant and panicky . I just don’t want to do it again. I felt very positive before my first session last week, but my mood tumbled the day afterwards. I just don’t want to talk and talk about my problems. If I pull out now she will want to be paid for the missed session. I just really feel I don’t want to do this . Even though I did a few weeks ago. I just don’t think counselling helps me and I resent the expense.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 20/10/2025 16:46

If you've been doing it for years, even in bursts, then it's clearly not helping you.

What are you trying to fix or change?

Original poster
Sanctumest · 20/10/2025 16:47

I would like to have tools to cope better with situations, different ways of reacting. More understanding of the patterns I find myself in . More resilience, more understanding of myself . Instead I just talk about the same stuff endlessly .

OP posts:
youalright · 20/10/2025 16:55

What i should be saying is talk to your counsellor about how your feeling. But instead I'm going to say what I'm actually thinking counselling and therapy doesn't work for a lot of people me included. Endlessly talking about your problems doesn't fix them. You want to feel better get a purpose in life and a distraction. Do things for others, volunteer, do things that make you happy. Join a club, church, community project. Go for a walk everyday. Reduce carbs in your diet.

Original poster
Sanctumest · 20/10/2025 16:58

youalright · 20/10/2025 16:55

What i should be saying is talk to your counsellor about how your feeling. But instead I'm going to say what I'm actually thinking counselling and therapy doesn't work for a lot of people me included. Endlessly talking about your problems doesn't fix them. You want to feel better get a purpose in life and a distraction. Do things for others, volunteer, do things that make you happy. Join a club, church, community project. Go for a walk everyday. Reduce carbs in your diet.

Yes, there a re two other things I would rather be doing on a Monday to be honest.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 20/10/2025 18:11

Sanctumest · 20/10/2025 16:47

I would like to have tools to cope better with situations, different ways of reacting. More understanding of the patterns I find myself in . More resilience, more understanding of myself . Instead I just talk about the same stuff endlessly .

Edited

There's nothing outrageous in what you're looking for – it's the basics of CBT. Sometimes (IMHO) studying a subject helps you understand it, and then yourself, far more effectively than being a recipient of counselling or therapy.

This course was my first toe in the water in terms of learning and turned out to be the most comprehensive of all the online options;

https://www.udemy.com/course/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-online-course-cbt-practitioner-course/learn/lecture/14400856?start=0#overview

At £15 it's a good start to changing yourself.

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