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Too much going on, can't cope, feel like im heading for a breakdown

7 replies

Dontknowwhattodo8764 · 20/10/2025 09:13

I think I am neurodiverse but don't have a diagnosis. I am in my 40s.
Our wonderful life has turned to shit. Out of nowhere my husband developed severe mental health issues, had to give up his job. Has massively affected our family and hes not the same person he once was.
My son has adhd , we have had school issues with him since the day he started age 4, hes now 15 and everything is spiraling. He hates school, is misbehaving more and more as can't cope with the stress of the gcse years, he has started puberty which has caused a massive personality change , hes angry and miserable and hates himself. He hates being at home with nothing to do as he says his mind starts to act crazy, so he goes out with friends all of the time. He literally just sleeps at home. If his friends aren't available he lies in bed staring at the ceiling all day in a bad mood. He is worrying me sick and I don't know what his future looks like at all.
My parents are both becoming frail and im an only child so everything falls to me .
I have other children too who I am fully responsible for as husband too poorly.
I work and can't hold a job. There is something wrong with me. I start a job and want to leave after the first few weeks. I seem to struggle with the most basic of workloads and get very stressed. My minds not on the job because of my worries at home. I have had 4 jobs in 2 years and have just quit my current one that was perfect hours and location. With no job to go to next and no idea what I will do for money. I darent even tell my family so I'm still going out every day and just sitting in the car!!!
I'm anxious all of the time, I can't sleep, I feel exhausted. I just want to run away from it all.
I don't know where to start as the issues are all too big

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 20/10/2025 12:29

I'm so sorry. I'm not surprised you feel at breaking point; you're under an intolerable level of stress. You need to go to your doctor as a matter of urgency and let him/her know what you've said here (show them this thread if necessary). You will get through this but you need help – practical help, financial help and help with your own mental health. Please do something today, you will feel better once the burden is not just on your shoulders.

PuckingDespair · 20/10/2025 13:41

I agree with the PP. It’s hardly surprising that you are struggling when you are dealing with so many issues.
You should be giving yourself more credit for your strength at keeping the family going.
Please do go to see your GP and ask for some support.
Keep posting on here too as there are lots of people who will want to offer you help. Good luck, things will improve even though it may be hard to see that atm

Dontknowwhattodo8764 · 20/10/2025 14:08

I already take sertraline. What can a GP possibly do when my problems are situational? Unless they can take my husband away, fix my son and myself which they cant.

OP posts:
PuckingDespair · 20/10/2025 14:36

I’m not sure but maybe you need to change to a different AD and some talking therapy might help?
Maybe the CAB could help with claiming benefits as you don’t sound like you are well enough to be working at the moment. They might also be able to advice about charities or support groups for people with family members with depression or ADHD.
I understand how you feel that nothing will help but that is partly your depression and exhaustion speaking.

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/10/2025 16:26

Dontknowwhattodo8764 · 20/10/2025 14:08

I already take sertraline. What can a GP possibly do when my problems are situational? Unless they can take my husband away, fix my son and myself which they cant.

I don't know but maybe they can provide help for your son, assistance for your parents and sign you off so that you are eligible for benefits. What I do know is that until you reach out for help nothing will change, and you desperately need help.

MustbeLoveontheBrain · 20/10/2025 16:30

Have you spoken to anyone about it? That might help to take a load off your shoulders.
You are looking after every else but there is no one to look after you

flossymuldoon · 21/10/2025 09:35

Oh love. I feel for you as I’m
in the same boat. My issues are slightly different to yours except my child is 16, but same feelings.

I have no advice as I’m trying to figure out what to do next tbh, but just wanted to comment and tell you that you’re not alone x

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