Struggling with visits to sectioned mother due to her anger - any shared experience?

[marshj81]

I have just got home from visiting my mum in the psychiatric hospital, where she has been since mid Aug under a section 3. She has bipolar and is in a manic phase, and is so unpredictable. Last visit she was calm ish but drugged up and I was able to just be with her calmly. Today she was angry and volatile, screaming at staff and telling me I’m F’ing useless and I must be an F’in idiot etc she’s in HDU at the moment as needs one to one. Doc assures us she will recover but I’m losing hope. So awful for her, the staff and seeing her like this is heartbreaking. I don’t know what to do for the best. Took drawings in from the kids and she wouldn’t look at them, tried to do her nails, look at a magazine etc and tried to get her to listen to music but she wouldn’t engage with anything. Just screaming and trying to hit the staff as she’s scared and thinks they want to hurt her. Has anyone else been through this? It feels lonely and hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it. I just wonder if anyone else can tell me their experience and that it got better as I feel desperate that she’s not coming back. Thanks for reading I just needed to say this and get it off my chest.

I’ve been there with a family member, the anger was absolutely blistering - it’s very very hard to be around. What I would say is that it did pass - it took a long time but it passed. The hospital staff will be used to dealing with it though so while it’s hard, it’s part of a process. I did pace my visits, as did other family members and didn’t try to get my family member to do too much. I left things for her but when I visited I just spent time there, they couldn’t cope with people and activities at the same time.

I feel for you, it’s hard to know how awful it is unless you’ve been there.

Thanks @Jellycatspyjamasi really appreciate you replying. It is good to talk to someone who understands. Totally agree with pacing visits - my dad and I spread it out as I find it leaves me mentally drained and being conscious of not leaving her to feel abandoned but not visiting too much in case we are triggering her and making it more difficult for staff/her recovery. Did you find it was inconsistent? She’d had a good day yesterday so I felt hopeful but today was a disaster - she spat at me as well as insulting me and my rational brain knows it’s because she’s ill. Thankyou got the advice and reassurance and just making me feel less alone!

Yes, very inconsistent - sometimes it was about her health, sometimes what was happening in the ward but she could be ok one day and very heightened the next. Recovery is far from linear.