Worried about DH's mental health and don't know where to turn.

[daftie]

I’m really worried about my DH.

He’s become convinced that a neighbour is threatening him and says he hears the neighbour outside saying awful things, and making threats about him but I’ve never heard anything myself. No one’s ever come to the door or said anything directly to him. Surely I would hear if this was happening?

He’s even been on to the police a few times about it, but they’ve most recently told him there’s no evidence and that he shouldn’t make accusations like that. He’s absolutely sure it’s real though, and now thinks this person is damaging our property and making false reports about him to the police. I ask how he knows and he says he pieces together what he hears outside. He just can't give me anything concrete IYSWIM?

It’s not just the neighbours, on a milder scale he also thinks bosses at work want to get rid of him, and he keeps saying he’ll be made redundant on certain dates that never happen. When I try to gently ask questions or point out there’s no proof, he gets defensive and says I’m interrogating him.

He drinks every night, sleeps badly, and seems constantly on edge. I just don’t know what to do. None of what he says adds up, but he completely believes it.
I’d really appreciate any advice as I'm so alone with it. Can I contact mental health services myself if I’m worried about him? And would they be able to get involved without telling him I was the one who called? Maybe he could think it was the police who intervened. What if the threats are actually real? I'm so confused, sorry. Would appreciate any perspective on this as it's hideous.

You could call nhs 111 option 2 for advice? They are a consent based service but hopefully would still advise you on next steps.
Alternatively speak to your GP?
Stress and lack of sleep are common causes of auditory hallucinations

Sounds like he is developing some sort of paranoid psychoses. I would sit him down and tell him you’re worried about him, that he seems on edge etc. See how he is if you suggest you visit the Gp together. If he won’t agree, contact the doctor yourself and say you’re worried for his, your and the neighbours safety. They will liaise with the mental health crisis teams.

My late OH developed paranoia. Your OH does need help. Ring MIND and ask their advice.

Thank you. I guess the main confusing thing for me is I've no way of 'proving' that the neighbours are not saying threatening things. I've never heard them and I've never been with him when it happens. But when I ask for specifics, like what was said, how do you know it's directed at you, etc, he can't give me a straight answer.

I have suggested a GP visit, thanks @Florencesndzebedee. He said no initially but I framed it as you need help with the anxiety this is causing and you can tell the GP what's happening and it will all be on record should you need to take it further. He just said, maybe. So I'll push ahead with that.

He keeps saying the neighbour is being picked up by the police several times a day for making false reports about him and I have honestly never seen ANY evidence of this. It's so baffling. When we wfh he does so upstairs and me downstairs and says the reason I don't hear it is because he's upstairs with the window open but I do think if someone was shouting the odds outside I would hear it from the living room.

Outside of this he seems rational and 'normal' if that makes sense? Like he can go about his job and have video calls etc.

this level of paranoia is worrying. You must know the neighbours story isn't true-the police don't pick people up several times a day?! The fact he also has beliefs about work bosses etc. also shows it's paranoia. GP is a good suggestion. If he won't go you could make an appointment for yourself to discuss options or phone Mind.

@HappyHedgehog247 yes it sounds so implausible. No matter which way I try and rationalise it, it just doesn't make sense. I would have assumed someone having delusions would be less able to function in other areas of life but he seems okay. Not brilliant, certainly not happy or content, but managing, etc. I've no experience prior to this.

Thanks for all the advice, I'm going to contact Mind and NHS tomorrow.

Thanks everyone for your help. I wanted to update as things escalated quite rapidly on Tuesday. It quickly became very obvious that he was having delusions. Was screaming at me to get back from the window because there was a gun battle outside. I called an ambulance and long story short, he has a section 2 and is in a psychiatric unit. I'm still in shock, I think. If anyone has any experience of this I'd like to hear how it went. Because we have children, a referral has been made by the hospital to social services. I don't know what that entails but I'll tell them what they need to know.

Thank goodness your DH is in the right place now and can get proper treatment. My OH developed paranoia under very different circumstances but the services were very supportive of me as well as treating him.

The social services referral is a safeguarding protocol as I am sure you know and you simply need to tell them what has happened and they will be reassured about the children.

Well done for calling an ambulance and getting him swiftly to the place he needs to be.

It might be worth ringing MIND - there will be people with personal experience of this situation and lots of helpful advice, especially as regards talking to the children about this.

I am sending a hand hold. Look after yourself too.

Hi, I’ve been sectioned a few times. I’m sorry this has happened to your husband. He will be seen by a psychiatrist in the MH unit. In my experience you see them once a week. They will prescribe him medication. You can visit him in the unit and take clothes and snacks etc. no glass, no cans. If you can get an incredibly short phone charger they are a godsend as you can then charge your phone in your room instead of having to get the staff to do it.