Anxiety or stress. It’s awful

[iremembersnappedandfarted]

I’m going through a really difficult time at the moment. Two very close family members having serious health battles which could be life limiting.

I’m also having an extremely difficult time at work with various stressful situations ongoing; mainly very challenging customers and a huge workload. My colleagues are all very supportive but it’s the nature of the role to carry a heavy, stressful workload.

It feels like it’s all come to a head and I’m in a pretty awful place.

I'm trying to hold it all together but I’m just so terrified of this impacting my DC who are both still young (between 5-10). I know I’m distant with them, trying to hold back tears or other emotions a lot of the time. I just don’t enjoy anything. I can’t eat much or sleep so I’m running on empty. I know this is not healthy but I get such a sore stomach if I eat. I go to bed but just continually wake up.

If I go to the dr they will just prescribe me tablets that will make me even more distant and cold.

I just wish I could cope with life better and be the best I can for my kids.

I’m not even sure what I’m looking for from posting this. My DH is a lovely man but doesn’t know how to help me.

That’s a lot to be dealing with OP, no wonder you are feeling low.

Is there any possibility of taking a day off work, just for you?

Start small and try and carve some time out for you somewhere in your busy life.

The problem with juggling too many balls at once is that it only takes one slip for the whole lot to come crashing down.

Go to the doctor, get signed off for a week. Take that week (or longer) to make sure your relatives are getting all the help and benefits they're entitled to. Get your lovely husband to take time off if necessary to support you.

Before you howl that everyone needs you and you can't possibly take time off or ask anyone for help, consider this.

Let’s imagine for a moment you are a 'caring machine'. The caring machine’s only function is to care for others. Anyone who uses machinery knows that the first thing you do each day is to check the operation of the machine and perform whatever work is required to keep the machine functioning effectively.

Checking and maintaining the caring machine is the first thing on the list each day. It is the top priority. The reason? Because if we don’t maintain the caring machine, the machine stops working.

Then who gets cared for? Nobody.

You are much more valuable than a machine...

@mechanicalpencilThank you for taking the time to reply. You’re right, carving out some time would help for sure. It’s hard to convince yourself it’s not indulgent to have me time I think.

@EyesopenwideawakeThank you for such a great perspective on things. I am run ragged with trying to be all things to all people and seem infallible. I think if you asked 99% of those who know me, they’d think I was coping well. It’s just my DH and kids that’s seeing this terrible tailspin I’m in. And they’re the people I want to protect the most.

Reading the kindness in your post gives me hope that any reaction to me taking time out might get the same kind response. I guess I worry about the judgement.

You can't predict the response you will get and, TBH, it shouldn't really matter. Something has to give before everything gives and your time off is both longer and perhaps at an even more difficult time.

Good luck – let us know how you get on.