People thinking I’m unwell when I’m not

[BlackMess]

I’ve been struggling a little bit with my MH, I admit I do feel a little low and lacking in motivation. When I’ve made comments about how I’m feeling people have told me I’m really unwell at the moment. I’m a little low but I’m not really unwell - I don’t need any support, I don’t need to call 111 or the Samaritans, none of these things will help.

I do feel like my time is done, but I’m not in any distress about that - I’m at peace. I know what’s best for me. Please don’t read this and worry about me, or get the wrong impression. I have no intention of ending things imminently. But how do I make people understand I’ve not come this decision because I’m unwell. I’m perfectly well, and I’ve made a reasoned, rational choice.

Have you told them how you are feeling. If you are seriously contemplating it , you are unwell.

You probably should talk to a professional OP.

If you are presenting to others as being unwell then that's why they are saying it. They wouldn't say it for no reason. Especially not multiple people. If lots of people think you are unwell then there's every chance you are, at least to an extent. Would you see a counsellor or therapist? Are you on medication?

I have spoken to professionals, I’ve seen a GP who referred me to a MH nurse. I think they also think I’m unwell. So don’t worry, I am seeing people. They just want me to take medication which I don’t want to take due to side effects.

Do you feel like although you have no intention of ending your life that you wish you “just weren’t here”?

Long term low mood in response to your life circumstances is a difficult thing to heal from but it is possible.

What side effects and what meds? People who are ‘unwell’ but won’t take medication, generally don’t get better. Unless you have a plan to get well in other ways - exercise regime, change your diet, talking therapies. Just rejecting help makes you sound quite unwell. What are you diagnosed with? Do you have support from family or friends. You sound quite isolated and as if you won’t engage with care professionals. I hope you are ok. You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out for some help. Sending you a hug.

But I am also autistic and I think gives people a wrong impression about me as my facial expressions and mannerisms don’t always match my words. I saw that the MH nurse wrote in my notes that my mood appeared elated at times with rapid speech. I don’t feel elated but I’m not like super depressed either.

Yes, I wish I never existed. I have no intention of ending my life in the immediate future but I don’t intend on living another 40 years either.

Every medication I’ve tried has caused nausea and vomiting. Currently taking Vortioxetine which they want me to persevere with alongside prochlorperazine as an antiemetic. Other than autism I’m not diagnosed with anything.

I don’t have the motivation to exercise, or try anything else really. I don’t think anyone can help me, which is probably part of the problem. I understand that people who are unwell who don’t take medication don’t get better but I’m not unwell, not really, I’m just done.

It’s a difficult one. Like you OP, I don’t take medication because I am so utterly afraid of side effects (I have health anxiety that rules my life)

I do however go to high intensity therapy and I chose that because I hen I step back and looo at how I present myself every day, the things I worry about, the lack of motivation, lack of care to do anything other than just wait for the day to be over so I can do it again the next.. I can see that I am very unwell. DH also sees that I am very unwell. But while I’m just living in the moment I don’t really ‘feel’ unwell, it’s not until I look from a semi-outsider perspective can I see it.

from what you’ve described, you do sound very unwell and you would probably benefit from some help. Not just the GP or a MH nurse talk, but actual therapy may help you. I never in a million thought ‘talking’ would help me, but somehow it does. I can’t even explain why or how, it just does and I’m such a non-believer.

Interestingly I’m ASD too but not aware or diagnosed until recently. A huge amount of my depression was linked to how I wasn’t coping with life and therapy didn’t help because it wasn’t suited for those with ASD.

Good news is that my mood did improve over years and now I don’t feel like that anymore. I’m much kinder to myself and have found good friends etc. I’m not part of a group or see them lots but we can be ourselves and that’s great.

But while I’m just living in the moment I don’t really ‘feel’ unwell, it’s not until I look from a semi-outsider perspective can I see it.

Yeah, I guess it’s like this. I don’t actually feel unwell, I feel okay, I feel like I’m done with life but that doesn’t make me feel unhappy or distressed it’s just a matter of fact. And I’m okay with that.

I don’t cope well with life either, and it feels nothing ever changes or gets better. I’m glad you’ve found your mood has lifted over the years.

Hello OP, we're sorry to hear you are feeling this way, we're just popping by to sign post you or anyone else who may be feeling this way to some additional support links.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health Resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].
Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Yes, you sound unwell. In the depths of mental illness we can often feel the most clarity.

I’m sorry that you are struggling with other people’s perceptions of your state of health. That’s frustrating.

Do you think that they have your best interests at heart, and have experience to justify their opinion?

Personally, when I am not well I feel like I am at last clear sighted and that I have previously been viewing life through rose tinted spectacles. In short, when I am ill, I see my previous contentment as delusional and irrational.

Then when I am well, I realise my previous despondency was irrational.

It’s a quandary. I learned not to take my feeling about my current situation as the definitive assessment.

In short, although life feels flat at the moment, that won’t always be the case so don’t make plans and decisions based on that feeling.