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Mental health

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Struggling with everything

9 replies

Headmessedagain · 11/10/2025 14:17

Mobbed at work. Completely overloaded.
On top of this, my now XDP’s ex threw the kids out and got full custody of his kids. I filled out all the forms for him for school etc. (not in UK)
We had to arrange working hours between us to make it work.
Kids messed up because of what happened - didn’t want to do anything other than play on their phones during our summer holiday - not even a dog walk.
Then I got accused of wanting to do nothing other than read my Kindle.
XDP now because I dared to ask him to talk to his eldest about disrespecting me. We were watching a film together and she switched it off.
I am sure most will say I have had a lucky escape but before all of this he was my safe place from work and now I just feel so lost and very alone.
I started psychotherapy in the middle of September.
I have been off sick since beginning of August.
I just feel so stupid and hurt. He called me last Friday, said he missed me, said the kids were with their mum - could we talk but we ended up having sex. He wrote that evening but nothing since.
I just needed to rant a little as the weekends are the worst.

OP posts:
Salehalted · 11/10/2025 14:21

Do you have children op?

all in all, sounds ghastly

Premiumflopped · 11/10/2025 14:24

Wait so…. This is your XDP and his child? No longer living with you? So why the stress re that

Headmessedagain · 11/10/2025 14:24

An adult child that lives in a different country from me.

OP posts:
Premiumflopped · 11/10/2025 14:24

He / she?

Premiumflopped · 11/10/2025 14:25

Headmessedagain · 11/10/2025 14:24

An adult child that lives in a different country from me.

Thank goodness out of this mess

Headmessedagain · 11/10/2025 14:29

I gave a lot when their mother threw them out. Looked after them so their father could work. Took them shopping for clothes as we picked them up with only the clothes they had on (and paid for the clothes - got nothing back).
It has all been hard. My doctor increased my meds but I still have so much anxiety.
I went out for the first time on Wednesday other than for essential food and started to feel a little better but I just feel like I’m in a massive hole. And see no light at the end of the tunnel.
Luckily I get full pay on sick leave but have to go and explain myself on Monday at 7:40am. I haven’t been awake before 10am for so many weeks after having nights when I don’t get to sleep until 5am even with extra meds.

OP posts:
Headmessedagain · 11/10/2025 15:53

Premiumflopped · 11/10/2025 14:24

Wait so…. This is your XDP and his child? No longer living with you? So why the stress re that

No kids with xDP. Never lived together. You’re going in some weird directions.

OP posts:
Premiumflopped · 11/10/2025 16:04

Headmessedagain · 11/10/2025 15:53

No kids with xDP. Never lived together. You’re going in some weird directions.

The one direction I’m going in is… what a mess. Can hardly make head nor tail of it but all sounds pretty shit. Not just for you.

Headmessedagain · 13/10/2025 17:10

Yes it is a mess. Why my mental health is a mess. Why I have children or not does not matter.
Now xDP was not my ex before this all happened. Was hoping to find someone that might have a little empathy about my whole world collapsing.

OP posts:
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