Which is better...

[NotEvenReading]

...a parent who hates living and is only doing so as to not fuck up their children but is miserable (and, obviously, that will also fuck them up) or one who takes themselves out of the picture and will free up money to improve their children's lives?

I'm not really expecting any answers as it's entirely anecdotal. After all, as Philip Larkin said, "They fuck you up, your mum and dad.".

Hating living is a temporary thing. There is still joy to be had - from your kids as much as anything. Removing yourself will cause incalculable sadness and damage to them. What help are you getting? Where are you right now and is there someone with you apart from your kids?

No amount of money will replace a parent to a child, or pay for the resulting therapy they will need to try and deal with the life long trauma that decision will cause.
Everything is temporary and you won’t always feel like this.
Making a permanent decision will irrevocably damage the people who love you the most.
Please try and access some support. If not for yourself then for them.