My bedroom triggers me... send help

[SometimesIcantsleep]

Looking for advice really. I'm not sure how to deal with this embarrassing issue, and I have no one to talk to about it. My bedroom triggers me, I had a few medical issues/health scares, unfortunately when these came to a head and warranted fairly serious medical intervention I happened to wake in the middle of the night and run to the en-suite before hot footing it to a&e.

Unfortunately now my bedroom triggers my anxiety, I've been sleeping in my spare room, the kids rooms or on the sofa in and off for nearly two years as every time I try to sleep in my room I start to panic/have panic attacks. If I fall asleep I wake up from panic attacks in my sleep.

Obviously this is really affecting my relationship too, my partner feels the issue is with him although I try to explain it's not. My partner also snores very badly, so when I do fall asleep that wakes me up and then the panic starts all over again. I've spoken to the doctors who basically laughed me out of the room.

Im at a loss, I don't know where to go or what to do to help, i meditate, i listen to audible, I have white noise, i read, i shower/bath, nothing helps this horrendous panic i get when i get in bed. I'm willing to try anything, but at this rate i feel like moving is the only option :(

CBT therapy is very effective for panic attacks. You should be able to self refer to NHS talking therapies. Try goggling your area plus NHS talking therapies or IAPT. Normally it's an online form and then they pop you on the waiting list.

Hi OP, I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but I can understand a little. I have recently lost my father and since then I hate going to bed, it's not the room itself, it's more the act of going to sleep, I have been sleeping on the sofa for about 15 weeks now.

Have you tried totally rearranging the room? Moving the bed and furniture around, maybe paint the walls, new rug.....

If you are managing to get some sleep in the spare room could you move into there permanently?

It's comforting to hear I'm not the only one who struggles, my next step was to actually try redecorating. We've just got a new bed, I've tried that once I got to about 1 am and went to the spare room after multiple panic attackss. The spare room is only a box room, otherwise I would sleep in there permanently. I will maybe press on with the decorating and try moving things round again. I panic where ever I sleep but I just feel safer anywhere but my room.

I hope this eases for you to soon, I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

Thankyou, we do have this where I live. I have anxiety anyway, and have suffered for many years, this is just far beyond that. I have done cbt a few times and it unfortunately didn't scratch the surface but I will look into it again and see if there is anything else they can offer. If I could afford private I would but it's just not an option right now.

Are you religious at all, could you put some sort of holy thing in your room, or new age stone or do some sort of cleansing activity?
It might make you feel better about the room.

Thankyou, I don't practice any religion, have in the past attended a Buddhist group and retreat days which is where i learned to meditate. I do loosely use crystals, I will look into cleansing though; that sounds like something I can do myself 🙂

CBT doesn't work for everything for everyone, and often not for general anxiety. But for panic attacks specifically it can be brilliant. Worth a go.

Have been in this exact same scenario.
All of the above is great advice but the only thing that helped me was to actually go to bed and let the panic happen.

It is awful I know and probably not what you want to hear but all the while you try and avoid the trigger it will reinforce the idea you have something to be afraid of.

What I used to do was get myself silly tired by exercising and then… and this is totally against all advice ,doom scroll until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
I would eventually fall asleep .Might be a fitful sleep and waking for my brain to think I need a good panic now but I just rolled with it in a haze of terror and “I’m going to die” feelings.

I am the biggest avoider of pain and discomfort but something deep in my soul said this is the only way.

Im sorry you are going through this as it sucks and is understandable given the circumstances, but you have got this and you will come out stronger.

What about hanging up a buddhist mantra like the heart mantra?

Can you swap rooms around, trade rooms with one of your kids?

I have anxiety and cPTSD and panic at night. I have changed things in my bedroom, moved furniture around. I burn incense which I love it makes the room seem very safe for me. The first few weeks (could have been months) of the acute panic I slept with the light on and with music on all night. I have had a lot of EMDR for panic attacks and my other conditions - this has been hugely helpful. I’ve recently started somatic therapy and was very dismissive of it initially as I thought - I’ve tried everything and nothing works for me. This isn’t actually the case, it’s about trying more and more and seeing what works for you. I’m not fixed but I hope I’m moving in the right direction. I believe a lot of it is persistence and consistency, like building muscle. Hope you find some peace soon.

Have you tried spending time in your bedroom in the day doing things that you enjoy to try to attach positive associations to the room?