Everyone hates me

[Georgeismydog]

These are the comments Ive had in the last few months
Mum - you are selfish, cold, and hard. I hope your children look after you better than you look after me
Husband - i can't cope with your tears (menopause symptom), you must realise how hard it is for me and how hard you are to live with. I dont want to go on holiday with you

You sound like you are feeling a lot of self pity which in turn brings out the worse in others and they may be taking advantage of you and bullying you to a degree.

I’ve never heard of menopause tears so perhaps it’s just your general circumstance that is making you tearful. It is a terrible malaise in society for women to blame their ills on the menopause and do nothing about it rather than address health and diet.

When you radiate positivity and strength, people won’t bully you.

What are some things you can do for yourself to pick yourself up and feel better about yourself?

The first post nails it.

Interesting new research (Durham University) shows that people who cry and make everything about themselves are just as narcissistic as the more conventional view of narcissism.
Perhaps focus more on others rather than yourselves

https://theconversation.com/what-weve-learned-about-narcissism-over-the-past-30-years-258505

That's two people out of 8 billion. Your mum is unhappy/spoilt/nasty and your husband is a either a wimp or selfish, cold and hard.

You can go no contact with both if it will make your life happier.

Are their comments justified? Only you can tell.

What are menopause tears? Are you feeling low?

So only 2 comments, what about friends or work? Is it just dm and dh in your life?

Still feeling this

Do you have kids? If your mum is treating you badly you can cut her out of your life.

If you are feeling this low please see your gp straight away. It sounds like you are depressed. I was like you before I went on antidepressants. It's a game changer. Also ask gp to check your iron levels. When mine go low I'm exhausted.

TheBlueKoala

Yes have kids but they are adults now and have own lives

Menopause tears are a thing...I frequently dissolved into tears despite having a happy life and not normally being a cryer. HRT sorred it out. I would suggest seeing your GP OP.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this OP. Have you been to your GP at all?

Has going through the menopause changed you? Do you think you react differently now to your mother and dh?
What exactly do they mean by their comments? It’s not a bad thing to start putting yourself first. How kind, caring and considerate is your dh? Does he always put others first or is he feeling stung because you are no longer a doormat?

Definitely see your GP. I have every sympathy and you are obviously feeling very low BUT in all fairness to your DH that can also be very hard to live with. We don’t know enough of the context with either your mum or DH to say who is BU but if you are down and low much of the time that is very hard on those around you and on you so I’d encourage you to go and speak to someone.

Yes, agree, and also HRT worked for me too. I think the comments OP has had from Mum and DH are genuinely upsetting but I would approach this, OP, with calm conversations with both. Why do they feel that way? What about any positives you bring to the table? You need to address this calmly. Explain what they've said has upset you, but do it without tears, try and make them own their comments and discuss this. Essentially also what are you doing to address your feelings? Have you sought advice from GP?

Yes have been to see my GP. he has given me antidepressants

Is 'radiate positivity and strength' really all you've got in the way of advice?

It is obvious what 'menopause tears' means - the OP means their emotional responses are more pronounced, which is a scientifically documented symptom some women experience during (peri)menopause.

Yes I never had HRT but I’m much happier now I’m well through the other side. I’m like a different person in fact. I thought there was something wrong with me and it turns out it was my hormones. And I was very slim and active at my lowest emotionally so people saying it’s all about diet and exercise are wrong. It helps but it isn’t the magic bullet.

@Georgeismydog The comments in your OP sound like the two relationships may be difficult, whether that lies on their side, your side, or both sides is hard to tell from the outside.

Is there any scope to see a therapist to help you work out what to do to help improve things?

And how long have you been taking them? Have they discussed HRT?