I had a performance review earlier this week. Have been absolutely dreading it. Any positive feedback felt like my manager was just being nice. It’s like my mind discards any positive feedback and only focuses on the negative. I simply don’t believe it as I know how I’ve been performing, which in my opinion hasn’t been great. I’ve just been plodding along. Trying to be unnoticed. Unseen. Present in meetings but not really contributing much (especially if senior or external stakeholders are present). I feel embarrassed, ashamed and like a fraud. I feel sick and nauseous ahead of a lot of meetings. I’ve got comfortable with others taking the lead because what do I have to offer? I’m like a spare thumb.
The negative feedback was about speaking in meetings, taking a lead, highlighting what I’ve been doing and so on. I’m in a team of confident people of which I am not. Not sure what I’m asking here but any advice, anyone who relates or understands?