I have a friend. I feel a huge sense of emotional connection / kindred spirits / lots in common on a deep level and a lot of shared interests. I get mixed messages from her about how she feels about me though. I'm so keen to be friends due to how strongly I feel this 'connected', but equally I don't want to keep 'putting myself out there' emotionally if it's not at least somewhat mutual.
The positive are: lots of chat when we meet, she always says yes when I ask to meet, shares things with me from time to time (eg: books), replies quickly to my texts, says she enjoys time with me, kind and warm to me emotionally when I open up about my life, kind to me when I show anxieties etc (she knows I have a trauma history).
The negatives are: almost never messages me first (done this like twice in several years), never initiates a meet up, doesn't ask follow up questions or say 'i'm here to chat' etc when I open up about my life, doesn't share as much about personal life as I do (sometimes they share a lot though). I'm just so confused. Maybe they are struggling to 'shrug me off', maybe they do like me but just vaguely.
I don't know and it's driving me up the wall feeling so confused about it. Advice would be appreciated!