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Misophonia help needed

7 replies

Klagglie · 28/09/2025 17:59

I have always had this as long as I can remember from a small child and it was mostly solely related to only how my mum eats, which I find to be quite unbearable. I would just find meal times so awful and want to run away.

As an interesting point to note, my non-misophonia friends and family also find my mums eating habits to be unpalatable and unpleasant so I am not entirely losing my mind on this one. I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety as a teenager and have had CBT and therapy and am doing quite well otherwise in all other areas of my life.

I have kids of my own and brought them up to have what I think are good table manners and I have never found them to be triggering and give me the misophonia ‘ick’. You sit down to eat, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t shovel food in your mouth, chew with mouth closed. Under these circumstances my misophonia is not an issue, I can eat out in restaurants and attend family meals (as long as I am not sitting directly next to or opposite my mum).

I have moved in with my partner of 5 years and his children live with him 50/50. I am really struggling with his DC’s poor table manners. They have never been taught not to speak with a mouth of food. They shovel huge mouthfuls in, then talk with it in there, last night at a special family meal, one of them was constantly yelling across the table spraying me with their chewed up food. They chew with their mouth open, make a lot of mess and lip smacking and slurp everything. I mean every single thing they eat or drink is slurped and smacked and spat. They are 9 and 11 so I think they could eat less like a toddler and graduate to eating more like a growing young adult.

I have tried to talk to him about it so many times but he thinks it’s fine, their manners are not that bad and I am the ‘weird one’ with a weird unreasonable issue and I am ‘over thinking it’ or ‘looking for it’ but it is making me not want to eat with them at all and I absolutely dread every single meal time with them and try to find a way to leave the table. I don’t say anything during the meal but he says I am visibly shuddering. He is upset that I might give the kids a ‘complex’ and wants me to just ignore it but I am asking for him to just teach them some basic manners

Today I felt like I had no choice but to wear loop earplugs at the dining table to try to minimise some of the noises. He thinks this is rude of me but my mental health is really suffering and I don’t know what to do.

Is there any other treatment I could try help with this? I feel very stuck and alone

OP posts:
clarepetal · 28/09/2025 18:12

Flare Calmers?

dontcomeatme · 28/09/2025 18:18

No advice just a hand hold because I'm exactly the same and my OH eats with her mouth open and does like a smacking noise constantly and I had to start therapy for it. She says it's a "me" issue and she eats normally. It's unbearable we always have to arrange the table so I'm as far away as possible. She licks and smacks her lips between each mouthful I just can't understand it!!

She's not very close to her family but we all met up for a family meal last year and oh my god, that was an eye opener, they all eat the same!! I was on edge the entire night I don't even think I ate anything 😭

Oh and therapy was no help. They tried graded exposure to the noise but it just set my teeth on edge.

Smellitonacotton · 28/09/2025 18:26

It's rude for a start. It won't do his dcs any favours eating like this. Doesn't matter if you do have misophonia, I think most people would feel like this. It really stresses me if people eat like this, stuffing their faces really gives me the ick so you have my full sympathy.

Eyesopenwideawake · 28/09/2025 18:26

To be honest I felt a bit sick just reading your post, never mind actually witnessing it. Hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis can sort out the misophonia but it might be better to just avoid eating with the little darlings for the next decade or so.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 28/09/2025 18:28

We actually had a TV put in our dining room for this reason... In yuri shoes I would not eat with dc I felt unable to tel to eat properly.. Even my asd ds manages to behave at the table....

Flapsbegone · 28/09/2025 18:34

I think anyone would find your step kids table manners gross.
He is doing them no favours in not teaching them table manners.
When it comes to misophonia, I am aware that it’s a me problem, I hate eating around a table with anyone else who is eating, even though my husband doesn’t eat like an animal I still can’t bear it. We eat in front of the tv. In special occasions like Christmas I put the radio on to drown it out.

Klagglie · 28/09/2025 18:45

@Flapsbegone I had worked quite hard on it that I can tolerate my partner, my own kids and friends and family (apart from my mum). I use my CBT stuff to tell myself it won’t last that long, it will be over soon and try to zone it out but it’s different with my step children. I feel like have to do it 3 x a day all weekend so that’s 6 meals I’ve had with them these past 2 days, all unbearable. My step daughter has the worst habits and I have said to my partner this is not what you should be teaching her socially as her eating habits are what you would see in a 2-3 year old not a 9 year old. (No special needs). it’s not ok to spit food out of your mouth or talk with it in there or chew with mouth open and I feel sad neither parent is addressing this for her later life and it will be too late for her to learn new habits

I feel deflated and depressed over it because it’s so stressful. In the week I can avoid them a lot more. I don’t eat breakfast or lunch with them and I can even avoid some dinners it’s mainly weekends when they are here, I am so I am pleased the weekend is over now as I don’t have to be around it. If he gets out a late night snack for them before bed my heart just sinks. I hide from them in the mornings wherever possible. I also hate holidays with them.

this isn’t how I want to live my life

he won’t allow the TV on when we eat
tbh it makes eating go on for 3 times as long so I don’t think it’s helpful as they just stare at it and don’t eat their food

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