AM FEELING A BIT DOWN THE NOW! Long thread.... :(

[youngbutnotdumb]

Well to cut a long story short I've been reading up alot about the James Bulger case at the moment as a friend of mine is very interested in it and got me intersted too. But I was only 5 when he was taken away and didn't realise the extent of what happened to him. Am actually feeling slightly traumatised by it and am para about my 2YO DS constantly. I feel guilty about being so upset all the time because I feel as though it's not right how must his poor family feel? I know this is all daft I just need help with this feel like am grieving for a child who I never knew is that normal?

Thank you xxx

it sounds like you were ill equipped to be reading up the story

i suggest that you avoid reading or watching programmes which are likely to upset you and do something a lot more upbeat and escapist

positive play with your ds

get out of the house

and firmly tell friend that you don't want to dwell on such a tragic subject

and yes it is normal to be upset by such a story

the normal response is to not go there rather than take a maudlin interest in it like your friend

I read about the case a year or so ago and was so shocked by what those evil boys did, it stayed with me for weeks.

Agree with zip, stay away from anything like that, I know I do

No my friend is doing a college paper on it hence why shes reading up about it and at first it interested me so I asked to read some of her coursework was totally my choice. I just didnt realise the extent of what happened like I said and I was not equipt for some of the things which I read! I'm normally a very happy go lucky person I still am but over the last 2 weeks it just keeps coming into my head and I get upset at the slightest thought about it. Just feel guilty about being upset it's not fair on his family like I said. Is one of those things I guess.

well dont feel guilty about being upset

distraction is all i can suggest for getting the thoughts out of your head

or doing something positive

i hope i didnt sound unhelpful by the way i know how easy it is to get drawn into something like that and then realise that it has done you no good at all

Dinna worry about it zippi just wasnt sure if I was odd

I do it all the bloody time read things and then think oh I wish I hadnt read that now (after many many tears)

Need to break my daily routine have to much time to think.

i agree its best to avoid these things.i have found that news stories involving children a similar age to mine have always affected me deeply.

when the james bulger case first happened i didnt have children,so it was just another awful news story iykwim,but it was all over the papers again when the killers were released and at that time ds1 was 2.6,so it really got to me and i kept going over the details in my head.

i have had the same problems with other news stories regarding children over the past couple of years.i have now given up reading magazines and newspapers,i dont watch the news and if i notice something in the headlines i hide the 'in the news' topic on here.

i just tell myself there is no point thinking about it as there is sadly nothing i can do to change it

from a trite but true point oif view

if you have some spare time or energy then consider putting something back into your local community by volunteering or if that isnt possible donating to a charity which helps young children

you cant solve things but you can do positive things

Yeah I guess ur rite Diva it does affect u more when u have kids, I didnt know the full details so didnt expect what I read although am sure friend could have warned me as is 6 years older than me so knew fine well. Och I spose its a story that has to be told.

Zippi

I work 30 hours in a care home and volunteer in the British Heart Foundation every other weekend so I already do that. Just wish I could help other kids on the bright side though has made me reconsider being a social worker (was going to but then decided against it) Might go bak to it if I can help 1 kid then that's good enough for me.

of course you might find social work difficult to detach yourself from...my brother was in child protection and has now retired from that to become full time foster parent of 4 children

i wasnt suggesting you were just angsting just trying to be helpful

I know sorry if I came over offended I wasnt meaning it that way was just saying I do work and things so it's not like I have nothing to do am just always doing the same things thats all.

Yeah thats what put me off being social worker not sure if I could leave it at work because I used to work with kids before having DS and saw 1 child who had been physically abused and it horrified me tht I didnt pick up on it! Felt such a failure is what made me think about social work.

I admire ur brother I couldnt be a foster carer culdnt have kids in and out of my life would be heartbreaking my aunt had 2 foster kids and adopted them after 4 years I love them to bits

he has had these four for a year it is ep[xected he will have them till they are 18

he is 54 and the youngest is 4

OMG! Is alot to cope with then am assuming he has help from partner/family?

Thats good if he expects to keep them until 18 atleast he doesnt need to worry so much about them leaving that must be heartbreaking!!!