How do I handle this?

[Hubby2]

Positive person (can be very hard in myself, however try not to be) something small but major to me now (wasn't at the time). But it is having huge repercussions on my private and work life.

Let's just say it's a man problem and something I'm struggling to come to terms with. I am really trying to take each day as it comes but it's getting me down when I think about it.

Im 37 and the situation came about because DW told me something that I was also slightly conscious of but she never did so it wasn't a problem until she mentioned it and that's when it became a problem.

I can't think straight and im trying things like keeping in shape and that to try to feel better but can't shake it.

I don't feel myself and most days are consumed with how inadequate I feel not to mention other issues like myself because I generally have never been accepted for me. People don't generally want to know me so it's hard to try and get out of this cycle

I'm guessing it's something to do with your appearance? (you don't have to say but it might help with the type of replies you'll get).

most days are consumed with how inadequate I feel

Have you ever looked at an insect with a microscope? Huge, isn't it? But when you try to see that same insect in proportion to the rest of the room you'll struggle to find it. So it is with problems. When we focus on them to the exclusion of everything else they become massive, sucking all the air out of your atmosphere. When we take a step back we can see them in perspective.

HTH.

Thank you for your reply, your right part of it is my looks, never really attracted many girls. I guess I wasn't too bothered at the time but suppose its always been an insecurity I don't really acknowledge you know not being easy on the eye.

The other half which is missing is that due to the nature of this issue I won't be able to give DW the third child she so craves.

I absolutely would like to see things differently but the world hasn't been that kind to me lately. I just find each day harder to get through, I would like to think there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I appreciate your kind words and taking a bit of time for me

You're welcome. It's a bit difficult to advise further without more information so maybe have a think about whether you feel comfortable giving more details. I'm guessing you have already talked to your doctor?

My big bother is the comment she made when we were being intimate. I never had any issues before and never questioned it because iv always satisfied her but after she said it lets say it's very difficult to get aroused.

Because now I feel like if I couldn't satisfy her or anyone for that fact. I tried talking it over with her but in my boat I feel very isolated because she truly doesn't get how I feel like I'm broken so not really anyone to discuss with.

In the meantime I'm waiting for a referral for therapy, the doctor tried prescribing me stuff but I feel it's physiological so have only taken one.

Oh, you've posted about this before I think?

Yes I have, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing with this site. I shouldn't post same thing again I think. Was just having a day from hell, I wanted to try and express myself. Didn't mean to waste your time.

Not a problem. Lots of people do! I can't recommend one but I bet there's loads of men's health forums where you might feel more comfortable talking openly.

@Eyesopenwideawake Not sure, it's a difficult subject anyway. I did look before joining here but nothing really came up. To be honest I am trying to go somewhere hopefully this Monday coming fingers crossed providing my wife doesn't have any objections which she usually does, It's supposed to be our day as the other week days I work and children on weekends so she will be annoyed but for me it's exceptional, this group might not be for me and I hate trying new things and it's like throwing myself in at the deep end but right now it's the only thing I possibly have, It is scary. Your lovely for keeping it going, totally unexpected.

Still coming to terms with it, trying my best to stay well, talking eases it just knowing I'm not alone