DD with intrusive thoughts

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I am after a bit of advice for my 19 yr old daughter. I am sure she has OCD as she suffers from intrusive thoughts - she worries constantly about me, her dad and her brother - if she is not with us she doesn't feel safe and she worries that if we are out without - (even worse if we are altogether that something is going to happen to us). She hates going anyone without us and still says the best times are family time and loves us all being together and finds it exceptionally hard if DH and I want to go out without her. Therefore she rarely leaves the house without us.

After covid when she was in year 9 she had a huge panic attack on her first day back at school - and she has suffered with anxiety ever since. Little things like going to work, making an appointment were a big deal for her - slowly but surely things like this have got easier and better for her anxiety wise but the intrusive thoughts part have taken over. She cannot watch any TV dramas, films or even documentaries now because she believes that what has happened will happen to one of us. She has just told me the day her intrusive thoughts started was the day of the Southport attacks and everyday she worries that someone will come in to the house or her work and stab her and all of us.

She signed up to steps to wellbeing last summer and had some online CBT which she found helpful but has still not been offered any face to face appointments. Does anyone know how long she will have to wait for this?

Are anxiety and OCD the same? She also says she has voices in her head telling her what is going to happen to her and her family.

I have never had any kind of mental health issues so I find it really hard to help her as to me it sounds ridiculous.

She is very reluctant to try medication but I wonder now if this is the only way.

She does also say that the thoughts sometimes hit her like a steam train for absolutely no reason at all. Tonight we are all home and she is crying her eyes out scared stiff that something is going to happen to one of us overnight and she can't get this voice out of her head. This will last for about 2 days when and then she may have a few weeks where the thoughts are not that intrusive and then pow it will hit her again.

So other people on here who suffer with intrusive thoughts or OCD has medication worked for you?

Thanks in advance

No specific advice - sorry op, I hope someone with more knowledge comes along. Kooth mental health support are great, or I think young minds has a hotline.

I has really bad OCD and had 14 sessions of CBT, it literally changed my life.

Once I understood it was my brain making the thoughts and I was in charge of my brain the CBT started to click and work for me.

I called my intrusive thoughts sneaky little feckers because of the way they sneaked it to my brain and it felt like they took over.

Have you tried the GP and it really laid it on thick about how worried you are and being pushy?

Yes.

intrusive thoughts can be an anxiety thing.

i’m on duloxetine and HRT (got significant anxiety during Peri having never had it before) and it’s basically gone.

My son went through this at exactly the same age which apparently is the age that OCD kicks in .
He saw a therapist for a while for CBT and also went medication . This really helped him and if you can’t get help go the private route .
He eventually got through it and is now off all medication. He is now happily married with his own children . It’s a worrying time but your daughter will get through it but she needs help to cope . Sending you a hug .

Go back to the gp and explain all this. Medication does help and therapy. If you can afford to pay for therapy that would be the easiest solution as the waiting lists are long. OCD and anxiety are linked but it does need specialist help.

Many years ago, I had CBT, which helped to an extent. However, in the end I needed medication. Unfortunately, in those days it was Clopimramine. It helped the OCD, but it was a bit like being hit with a intellectual sledgehammer.

I recall that I couldn't remember the foreign language that I'd learned. (That's since come back to me.)

Also, I gained a large amount of weight. It took me 4 years to shift it.

I'm told that more modern medications are better. My GP wanted me to go on Setraline after my husband died. (I was obsessing over his death and blaming myself.)

I tried it for 3 days, but I didn't like the side effects. I'm told that it works for some people.

Because I'm older and knew what the problem was, it wasn't as bad this time round. However, I kept with the Diazepam the GP had prescribed for anxiety following DH's death. I've not used the Diazepam constantly - it's the lowest dose, one a day as needed. (I was only prescribed a fortnight at a time and I only took the stuff when I really needed. I had long gaps of being off it.)

I've not taken it at all for 2 months now.

Just to add that another medic reckons that I have ASD and ADHD, but I've not had a formal diagnosis. Apparently, OCD can go hand in hand with ASD.

I asked my GP whether it would be worthwhile getting diagnosed - she didn't think so.

have you checked out OCD-UK?
the book 'overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts' by Winston & Self can be very helpful.
medication can help some people but she ideally needs therapy- not just counselling as just talking won't help, there are specific NICE approved approaches for OCD.

Thank you for all your advice. She has contacted the Dr today as I think she wants to try medication

Sorry I don’t have too much advice but I have struggled with anxiety for years and hit a really low point after childbirth last year. I started taking sertraline after avoiding medication for years and I’m so glad I did as it got my life back! I was so crippled with fear and stress that I wasn’t leaving the house or sleeping and would be on the phone to Samaritans etc, so medication was definitely the way forward for me so just wanted to give you a positive story

The difference between anxious intrusive thoughts and OCD ones is the degree of rationality. Intrusive thoughts as part of generalised anxiety are common and are to do with worrying excessively about things that might be a real concern. OCD intrusive thoughts are irrational and the person knows that they are. They are then accompanied by compulsive actions like an irrational fear of contamination leads to compulsive handwashing
What you describe sounds like generalised anxiety rather than OCD but either way a combination of an SSRI and CBT is the best treatment

Just wanted to share that I’ve always had intrusive thoughts, but thanks to therapy and anti-anxiety + ADHD medication I ignore them now. I still hear them but I dismiss them as illogical. I’ve been able to become a successful adult and own my own home! Wishing all the best to you and your daughter.

We had a really good chat last night and she told me these thoughts only ever come when least expected and when she is happy and relaxed. She says when she feels anxious and stressed they can't get through as her head is coping with anxiety. She has learnt over the years to cope with anxiety . She had a really bad period in her job 6 months ago and was really anxious because of it but no irrational thoughts. Thoughts creep in when she is either relaxed or doing something nice . Now she is getting depressed about feeling happy and doing things she enjoys because that is when the thoughts come in not when she is anxious.

Easier said than done but these intrusive thoughts like to pop into our heads and then we “latch” onto them and give them a lot more time and space than they deserve. I found it helpful to say to myself “it’s just a thought” and to picture it as a cloud that just passes on by in the sky. Sounds silly but it’s reminding your brain that we are not our thoughts and they are just electrical pulses that pass through and we don’t have to take notice of them.

One of the things I did in CBT was to was to write down firstly what my thought was and the worse case scenario and then the much more realistic one. Even I could see that the worst case scenario was never going to happen and gradually I started doing this in my mind without having to write it down.

Another thing was I had a thing with straight lines and if for example one slat of the blind was a bit wonky I couldn’t leave it, I thought I’d explode, combust or have a heart attack. I had to sit ion my hands and not move the blind so I could that see my anxiety would peak to a 10 but there was no 11, no explosion or heart attack and gradually the 10 would become 9.5 etc.

I gradually understood the debilitating thoughts were ones my own brain had created and I was in charge of my brain and how I acted on them.

OCD is awful because it literally expands to every thought you have if it’s isn’t controlled.

I didn’t have a life before, no space for friends , work doing anything apart from going around the house marking things straight, washing bathrooms, wiping ledges. It’s so sad now when I look back at it.

My therapist sent a survey to 50 random co workers about cleaning bathrooms. When the results were in we analysed them and I could see I was cleaning the bathroom 30 times more than even the participant that was cleaning theirs the most. This was a really penny drop moment.

Hi OP. Sending your daughter sympathy and a hug. I identify with a lot of what you’ve written. Intrusive thoughts is a neat term for what is a really horrendous thing to deal with. I’m much older than your daughter, but what I’ve found to help massively has been therapy (I didn’t find CBT on it own to be much help but I had a brilliant integrative therapist who has been really life-changing). If you/she can afford it, I really recommend your daughter taking time to find a therapist who she feels comfortable with. And medication - in my case, Sertraline. I held off for ages as I was terrified of all the side effects, but in actual fact they’ve been really mild (and non-existent now, 6 months in). I’m only taking a low dose, but it has made such a difference. I feel like myself again. I don’t think the medication would have been so effective without the therapy, and vice versa.

Wishing your daughter well and happier days ahead.