My mum is 60. She is independent, works PT, married but husband works away most of the time.
She doesn't have friends, but she has two sisters that she spends time with.
On face value, she is so lovely and bubbly, friendly and warm, a beautiful woman. But the fact that she has no friends, I think, speaks volumes. She distances herself from people, her husband comes first and he is a jealous man. They've been together for 33 years and the first five years with him were rough, but they love each other.
About four years ago, she was about UK size 26. She then decided to lose weight. She is now a size 12, but honestly she would be a heck of a lot slimmer if it weren't for the loose skin.
She doesn't eat sometimes for days. She is obsessed with getting slimmer still. Slimming World advised her to PUT WEIGHT ON. She says she just doesn't have time or forgets to eat... Which is BS. It's like she's addicted to starving herself, but because she isn't fitting into smaller clothes (the loose skin!) she still thinks she can do more.
This has then obviously had a major negative affect on her overall health. She has had two car crashes in a month. Not caused by her, but avoidable if her reaction time was okay, which it isn't. She has become crazy vain. She has become an absolute b1tch, really unpleasant to talk to. She takes mournjaro, and says that I (a size 12) need to be on the jabs and lose weight too. She calls me and she is acid, saying horrible negative things about everyone. She's always been cheeky but she is going too far.
One sis-in-law of mine works five days a week, and spends her weekend with her dying dad - my mum goes over to their house and constantly tells her how filthy her home is (it's just messy and obviously other things to think about!). Another sis-in-law is a big gal but a BEAUTIFUL soul.. my mum will call me up to tell me how "disgusting" her weight is.
She will eat once every day or so, and when she does it's like two boiled eggs or a salad.
I'm worried so much for her mental and physical health and I'm also worried if this could be early signs of dementia, which her dad had although at a much later age. Same symptoms, spiteful and mean.
So why don't I intervene? I've tried a bit. I'm not very close with my mum. I love her but due to past issues I keep her at arms length, plus having her put down everything about me every time I see her kind of puts a brick wall between us. I live two hours away.
I've tried telling her to stop taking injections and take care of herself, but she brushes me off and tells me to stop worrying. Her husband works overtime on weekends because, according to my oldest bro, he isn't liking how mean she is lately too. Everyone is backing away from her.
My fiancé gets so upset when I come off the phone with her because he knows she tells me I need to change my weight, my hair, get Botox ect ect (I'm actually okay with aging, my hair is healthy and I love food ha!). He knows she batters my self esteem. When I call her out on it, she just says she's just being cruel to be kind and "can't help it, it just slips out". But then if I go see her she is always trying to get me to eat all the food in the world and gives me all the cuddles. It's so confusing.
Can I call her GP to ask why they're approving weight loss jabs for a woman who is now having issues without her consent? Even without the jabs this is at least an eating disorder. I'm so worried about her, and so are her sisters and my siblings.
My main concern is that it's dementia or an eating disorder or depression, but she just won't get seen to... She's just not my mum anymore, she's a different person.