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Mental health

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Original poster

What is up with me?

6 replies

MatchaMama9 · 12/09/2025 15:03

out of nowhere, crushing on kid’s teacher. He’s not even good looking. I’m happily married. Last month was obsessed over another person. On off on off, dejected today because I found out he has a gorgeous girlfriend. What is up with my head? Can anyone relate? Is this perimenopause ? I’m 46 and on hormones therapy, antidepressants, etc. this never happened to me before, well, not since I was a teenager.

OP posts:

Pineappledancer · 12/09/2025 15:49

Just wanted to say you are not alone, I definitely relate to your post.

Original poster

MatchaMama9 · 12/09/2025 16:17

Pineappledancer · 12/09/2025 15:49

Just wanted to say you are not alone, I definitely relate to your post.

Care to share? I feel like I’m going mad…

OP posts:

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 12/09/2025 16:21

I've got one that flares up and dies again - my colleague! Am 44.

middleagedandinarage · 12/09/2025 16:25

My god yes!! so glad to hear I'm not alone actually. I had a really weird period where I couldn't stop thinking about my ex, I was literally obsessed. We've been split up for 15 years! Now I seem to be on to a guy I know through work, when I actually think about him I'm not at all attracted to him but for some reason i can't stop thinking about him and fantasizing about a life with him!
It's so fucked up, I'm happily married with kids.

Original poster

MatchaMama9 · 12/09/2025 16:33

It’s so unreasonable and it drives me wild. I’m wondering if it’s to do with my ASD. Part of it is I want to feel attractive again, and need the validation from external sources that is not my husband (who is sweet and caring, romantic and wonderful and safe). I want this crush to tell me he finds me attractive and wonderful even though we both have partners and he’s my son’s teacher and I will never ever pursue it, as I’m happy in my marriage. It’s so bizarre.

OP posts:

Pineappledancer · 12/09/2025 20:01

I am 42, happily married. Struggling with MH. I have had a few crushes like this over the years. The current one has really freaked me out. It has lasted a long time now and is someone I have know for years and years, know his wife as well. Never found him remotely appealing in any way in the past.

Then suddenly I did. Can't get it out of my head.

I agree that for me part of it is turning 40 and looking for validation or to feel attractive.

I am currently avoiding him as I feel really awkward and flustered when I see him.

This whole situation has really impacted my mentally.

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