Waiting for EIP to phone me back

[NotQuiteUsual]

I called crisis team and they told me to call EIP but they're engaged and I've left a message for them to call me back.

I'm so scared. My mental health nurse is trying to poison me, the psychiatrist is in on it too. I think it's to do with my medication. My husband discouraged me from reaching out to anyone so there's a good chance he's helping them.

Please keep me company while I wait. I'm loosing my mind waiting for them to call me back. I know they're just going to dismiss me as part of my illness though so I'm scared. I need distracting.

I’m here. You’ve done the right thing to ring.

Thank you Welltower. I keep shaking. I realised whay was going on last night. But sometimes I get paranoid when I'm.tired so just hoped it was that. But today it's become clearer. I'm so tired and my head feels gull of cotton wool.

Absolutely understandable. Is there something you could watch on to while you are waiting for a callback? Do you have a favourite comfort show you can watch?

I'm a bit scared of tv. My psychiatrist said some people get thoughts put in their heads by it or something. Plus crisis team seemed annoyed at me and I'm worried about being a burden to someone else.

I miss before I needed eip help. My head was clear then.

That’s fair enough. You aren’t a burden. You just need some support and the crisis team’s job is to help. Are there any jobs at home you think you could do while you wait?

Maybe I could make a cup of tea. That .ight calm me down

They finally called me and told me I'm wrong about everything. But it's not that simple. I know sometimes I know things that are wrong. But they just said I'm wrong and that's that. They don't get it at all. I'm so angry I want to break things, but so tired and upset I just want to curl up in a ball. I don't think i can cope.

How are you feeling now?

I found one last diazepam from my mental breakdown two years ago and I had that and now I feel less shakey. I cooked the tea as well(early tea because clubs tonight) so I'm functioning. I am ready for today to be over.

Glad you are feeling less shaky. Well done for getting tea sorted.

You said you thought it might be because of your medication, can I ask what medication you are on and are you able to get a review?

I'm on aripiprazole and venlafaxine. They always help for a while then I get paranoid again and they increase again. I don't trust the NHS any organisation with 3 initials for a name is part of it all. They're all connected that's why they have 3 initials.

I'll probably get made go see the psychiatrist AGAIN now. He just loves increasing my meds, but he never tells me I'm wrong. He has such hairy arms too