Driving Anxiety

[Marshmellowbunny]

So I posted here a while back and it was really helpful. I was in full on meltdown mode and a couple of you talked to me and since then I've slept really well and the crying has lessened. So thank you if you see this and that was you.

I just wanted to ask for some more thoughts if you feel like you have the knowledge and the capacity to help me or if you've been in a similar situation yourself then it would be good to hear from you

Before I was diagnosed with a brain tumour and taken to hospital for 3 months I was finally learning to drive at 35 years of age and had my test booked and everything.

Now that I'm out of hospital (I've had no symptoms or anything that will affect cognition or anything and the tumour has fully gone 🤞🏻) I'm allowed to start driving again at the end of September.

Anyway, everything feels weird and I feel too old now to learn to drive and I keep getting myself super worked up about it. What do you guys think? I keep wishing I was that super awesome person that could be like 'you're not going to stop me' but I'm not that person and no matter how hard I try I can't stop all of the thoughts about my age and stuff and I'm really angry at myself for not doing it sooner.

Anyway, if you read this and can advise, great! If not and you've just read it and don't know what to say/don't have the capacity to help, that's okay too! I hope it was okay to post here, like I said earlier, it was really helpful last time I posted.

Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend 🩷

I got my licence at 35. I didn't need to drive up until that point. When I wanted to move my career forward, I decided it was time. My instructor told me many women delay driving until 30s or 40s for many reasons. You're not alone! You can do it and it's not strange at all. I travel constantly, now. Couldn't make a living if I didn't and I love the freedom driving gives me. Hope this helps x

What is too old? I get that you feel weird, it must be like restarting your life after it being on hold for the duration of your illness but age really has nothing to do with driving – just think, you now have 30+ years to enjoy seeing people and places without having to rely on anyone other than yourself. How amazing is that?!

@JustPassingThruHere thank you. I didn't know that that your instructor told you. It's helpful to know. It's weird because I was okay with doing it at 35 but, if I manage to do it at all, I'll be 37 by the time I get to taking my test and for some reason that seems way scarier. 😂🙈

@Eyesopenwideawake thanks. That's a good way to look it. And yeah, that's it, it feels like my life has been on hold and now I'm trying to pick up the pieces and it feels like I'm not doing as well as other people have been in this position or as well as other people are making me feel like I should be
And I am reallllly trying to not compare myself to people because I know that's not healthy, but it just happens 🙈 at least writing this has made me think about that

You are never too old to learn a new skill!!

Also 37 is young anyway (you'll agree when you are in your fifties!)

Find a lovely kind and gentle instructor and go for it.

They should coach and guide you through the learning process. And they'll make sure you go at your own pace.

Bite the bullet and do it. You'll be so proud of yourself!

Hey OP, I'm 37 and taking my test in a fortnight. I say go for it. All the best with your driving and your recovery!

I’ve worked amongst the driving instruction industry and I can tell you there are women in their 60s and 70s learning to drive because their other half is ill or died and suddenly they need to. You are not too old, you just lack confidence. Find a driving instructor who is patient and kind, and consider automatic as that takes the pressure off learning clutch control and you can concentrate on the more important skills of observation and anticipation.

People learn at all ages and many retrain or do a qualification when they are much older than 37.

I saw an advert for a driving instructor the other day (looking for my DC) that had a whole list of services covered, including 'nervous driver'. See if you can find one as they will know what to say to help you.

Or maybe go to one of those centres where you can have a lesson without being on real roads, for a few sessions, to get the feel of the size of the car, and the positioning.

Hope it works out for you!

I passed my driving test a week before I was 37. One of the best things I ever did. Youre never too old.

I've had terrible driving anxiety but have booked an intensive course with a test date for January, ill be 37 also 🤞

Thank you all. This has been a massive help. I went out yesterday and bought a cheap second hand car to practise in (my partner checked it over and drove it) and I'm going to get back on the road when I get back from my hols. I got out of hospital on the 27th March and I had to give it 6 months from my last surgery so I'm just going to go 6 months from my discharge date 👍🏻

Genuinely thank you. I'm determined to start a new life now and booking&taking a test will be the first step. I probably just need to sort out all the crying now 😂🙈

Good luck @Midnightlove 💖