How can I be a more positive person?

[clinellwipe]

Hi

I’m posting to ask how I can be less negative/miserable/ungrateful - perhaps a tall order!

I’ve always been a pessimistic, cynical person but I think the tiredness and anxiety of the last 4 years as a SEN parent has made me unreasonably negative.

A lot of my life is wonderful - healthy family, no serious money concerns, live in a great town surrounded by beautiful countryside… but I find myself focussing on the negative. 90% of the bank holiday weekend was successful but I find myself spiralling over the 10% where my DS struggled with socialising/emotion regulation. Going on holiday in a couple of weeks for the first time in years and I’m not even looking forward to it - just anxious about DS and things that COULD go wrong.

I want to enjoy these young years with my kids more, be more present and more happy.

thanks if you got this far and thanks if you reply something that isn’t “you’re an ungrateful miserable cow” - trust me , I know 🫣🫠

Were your parents "cup half empty" people? Often the way we look at life is influenced by the attitudes and reactions we saw, heard and absorbed growing up (which is obvious when you think about it).

Humans are genetically programmed to be negative, otherwise we'd have all be eaten by sabre-toothed tigers because we wouldn't have bothered taking a weapon out on a lovely sunny morning.

You CAN change this mindset, without necessarily finding the source – it just helps your rational mind to make the changes.

The best advice I’ve ever had was to buy a little notebook and every night before bed make yourself write down 3 things (or more) you are grateful for- there’s always something eg I don’t have pneumonia ! / I have a roof over my head, / I had a warm meal today / I feel safe at night - honestly it becomes addictive and after multiple periods of depression and PND has changed my life! (I too have young children and it can feel very relentless- I do get it) This sounds silly and like nothing but honestly has helped me change my perspective as you start to look for good things in each day.

Good for you trying to change your mindset- good luck, I hope it helps. 💕