What is wrong with me?

[feelingsostrange]

NC

Bored but no motivation to anything.
Can't concentrate to read
Just want to lie down and not move
Feel lethargic rather than tired
Have to force myself to do just about anything
Hardly anything gives me pleasure
Lack of interest in general
Appetite lower than normal
Keep feeling like I want to count numbers over and over in my head just to give it a focal point and try and anchor my mind/brain
Thinking about running away

Could be depression, stress or burnout. A visit to your GP can give you support, that could be in the form of antidepressants and/or therapy.

Do you know of anything that could be triggering these feelings? Any major life changes such as losing a loved one, issues with work or financial struggles? Overwhelmed at work or family life, or both?
Sometimes depression doesn’t have a life trigger, it can be caused by hormones levels.

It could also be not related to mental health, vitamin deficiencies can manifest as many of the above symptoms you listed.

Visit your doctor.

Hi OP! You poor thing. It sounds horrible. It does sound a bit like depression or overwhelming stress. How long have you felt like this? Have you had anything stressful happen to you?

Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you live with a partner who can help?

I was very much like this for about 10 days earlier this month. In my case, I think it was autistic burnout.

No major life issues or struggles. I ordered some vitamins D/K2 and B12 earlier this morning. I'm on HRT and post-meno. I am usually so good at having things to be excited and motivated about but not at the moment.

I've also noticed I'm very indecisive. I've bought wallpaper to give myself a project then realised I don't like it. I'm reluctant to buy more in case the same thing happens. I buy something I think I like and then go off it very quickly. Same with clothes. Literally from loving it to detesting it. It's now putting me off buying anything at all!

@dizzydizzydizzy Yes, I do have my husband who is a good listener and sympathetic. I also have a lovely cuddly cat who helps me a lot.😊I wasn't aware of autistic burnout. I'm glad you are feeling better. I have often wondered if I am ND as have always felt it a struggle to fit in with 'normal' life.

Go see your GP as it could be a huge number of things, easily sorted.

Depression
Low Vitamins or Iron etc
Menopause.
Midlife crisis, ie thinking is this it?
Minor marriage/family problems that seem never ending

I had a horrendous few years where my anxiety was so high I was frozen, and my brain fog tipped over into "do I have dementia ". My DD was becoming my carer as I couldn't even order clothes on the Internet or have the motivation to wash myself. I just didn't understand what was happening. After a few years (four) of decent vitamins and iron (and a caring DD) I am out the other side. It was my hormones and I didn't know it. I'm more energetic, brighter, focused, starting to feel like the old me etc etc. Watching the Davina programme about the menopause was eye opening.

Edit - just noticed you said post meno. All of my symptoms appeared five years after my last period. I'm now hitting late 50s and life is only just starting to get brighter. Maybe your HRT needs adjusting.

Ah OK. Well I’m very glad to hear that you have a very sympathetic husband. So hopefully he will do what he can do help. And a cuddly cat sounds wonderful - I would love one myself but I’m too near a busy road and don’t fancy a house cat.

if it is autistic burnout - a few days of rest, cancelling as many commitments as possible, avoiding sensory overload (eg avoid noise a d busy environments) and seeking sensory comforts (eg stroking your cat, walk outdoors in the woods, weighted blanket) will help.

Hope you feel better soon.

PS if you do think you are ND, it is highly worth getting a diagnosis. It is not just a label as many people say. It is a significant medical diagnosis and it is better for your overall health to be diagnosed, especially if you have ADHD because there is treatment for that.

On and I have just remembered something, my ADHD psychiatrist told me to lie down with a freezer block on the base of my neck or splash cold water in my face when I was in burnout. That was very effective for me. I then took it one stage further and turned the shower to cold and stood under it for a couple of seconds. It was hard to get in that freezing cold water but incredibly effective.

I would get a full blood test to see if you are lacking in any vitamins or minerals as a starting point and consider HRT if you are going through the menopause.

Those are the most common and easy fix things for those symptoms.

Going through menopause and with changes in hormones can make ADHD symptoms more noticeable. But I would say it could just be menopause, especially if symptoms of ADHD weren’t there in the first place

@INeedAnotherName So glad you have come out on the other side. You talk about feeling 'frozen' and I feel I am in that process of becoming more frozen.

I said earlier in the the thread nothing happened recently but I forgot (another symptom) my email account was recently hacked. It caused an enormous amount of anxiety as I didn't know if they had hacked into my computer as well, what information they may have taken from my emails and whether they had accessed any of my card details from preferred saved methods etc.

Also around the same time I had a lot anxiety around a dental issue, which is now resolving.

There is also a long-standing, ongoing worry about a couple of cats in a precarious situation. I had decided we would just have to take at least one of the cats, which I would love to do, but the problem is I know it would really upset my own cat as she is used to all the love, attention and affection and would be very upset if she saw me being loving to another cat.

We used to have another cat which we adopted at the same time and my current cat used to get very jealous and go missing for days at at a time. When the other cat died, she immediately stopped going missing and became so loving and affectionate from then on.

But there is no way I could let this other cat in the precarious situation go to the place proposed by the person who is mainly responsible for sorting the problem out so in a dilemma still.

You have lots of anxiety inducing things happening and normally you would be able to deal with each one reasonably well. During my "spell" I didn't even have the mental capacity to decide what to eat. Life was too overwhelming. Looking back there were probably lots of little triggers but I think if my hormones/vitamins had been decent I would have been fine. I'm not out of the woods yet but I am a totally different person to what I was. Ask your GP for some blood tests to make sure everything is fine, esp Vits D, B12 and iron. Then ask about tweaking your HRT. If all is fine on that front then maybe a short course of low level antidepressants could help

I hear you about the cats BTW, I had a few years of having to rehome a skinny stray cat nearly every year. Are you able to speak to a local charity about them? I found a local fostering service when CP and RSPCA were too full for one of them.

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied to me. I really appreciate it.

I've also just remembered another recent event that was extremely upsetting as in a young man close me, though not related, went missing from home and was found in the early hours of the morning on a railway platform.

I have been helping him to better his life and his chances of employment as he has been in this country only just over a year. He seemed to be flying and was in a better position than he has ever been in in his entire life.

I felt so optimistic for him and then I heard about him running away from home and being found on the platform. It was crazy but I felt responsible in some way, that I hadn't seen any signs to indicate how low he was feeling.

I now feel I don't want to help him anymore after what happened as I am afraid of the responsibility of it all after what has happened. But then I feel so guilty as if I am abandoning him which I don't want to do as he has had too much of that in his young life.

@INeedAnotherName Yes, it's a tricky cat situation and can't go into detail as quite specific and unusual in a way so too outing. The main person responsible only had good intentions at heart but not necessarily leading to best solution for the cat.

I have discussed the situation with DH who, though not a cat person, feels just as I do and will support me in any decision. I have a cat rescue centre as one of the options as I personally think this is the best solution all round, but this person seems to think that by taking them there they are abandoning them.

I have explained it's the best option as people are actively going there with the purpose of adopting a cat and willing to pay for it. A much better prospect than current misguided ideas. But I know they would really like us to take the cat in, as they know us and trust us. But it would upset not only my own cat but this other cat as they are used to being the only cat and living in a quiet household with one person. We will keep ploughing on with this until it's resolved.

Ohhhh... well no wonder you are hiding from life. You have a lot on which don't have a problem solving ending!

my email account was recently hacked. It caused an enormous amount of anxiety as I didn't know if they had hacked into my computer as well, what information they may have taken from my emails and whether they had accessed any of my card details from preferred saved methods etc.
It's going to take years before you are comfortable that this has finally been resolved.

I had a lot anxiety around a dental issue, which is now resolving.
Resolving, not resolved.

There is also a long-standing, ongoing worry about a couple of cats in a precarious situation.
Until the cats are in a safe place this won't get resolved and you don't know if that will ever happen at the moment. You are in stalemate.

I now feel I don't want to help him anymore after what happened as I am afraid of the responsibility of it all after what has happened. But then I feel so guilty as if I am abandoning him which I don't want to do as he has had too much of that in his young life.
Another one where you think the situation is going in the right way and then BAM!! and it's still not actually resolved (or even if it ever will). However you can only help those who are willing to be saved. They have to be proactive too otherwise it won't work.

I have discussed the situation with DH who, though not a cat person, feels just as I do and will support me in any decision
It's lovely that he is supportive but I feel you are ready for someone to take charge of the situation, someone who is willing to make phone calls and have the uncomfortable but firm discussions. Will DH step up for you?

You need to come up with a plan (with DHs input) and stay with it, no emotionally wavering. Pick one problem and focus on it. I still stick with my original post of getting your bloods done as I believe your vitamin/iron can become depleted more quickly when under stress.

You are just having an extended duvet day. Look after yourself and don't push too hard

@INeedAnotherName Well, when you put like that! I don't know if I feel better or worse!😂

Thank you for your insight and taking the time out of your day to respond.

Yes, the person of the cat dilemma is a very good long-term friend of DH, and also now of mine. He is neuro-diverse so has to do things very much in his own way, in his own time and will not see or hear anything opposing until he is truly ready and then it's like flicking a switch and it was his idea all along! DH is definitely willing to be straight with him even at the cost of some discomfort within the friendship. It's survived worse. The friend is a decent person who genuinely loves the cats but can't see the wood for trees and is dealing with other problems at the moment.

I am not pinning down each problem and decided a solution, that's true and is most probably contributing to this in itself. I'm sort of flitting from one to the other to the other and back again, like a moth trapped in a glass lampshade. It probably also explains the feeling I have of not being able to settle to one thing because no matter what it is, I feel I should be doing another thing instead and on it goes and nothing gets done.

I feel I need to completely reassess and do what's best for me rather than what I think I ought to do or feel obligated to do.

I did not know about vitamins or iron becoming depleted during stress. I know I have less energy and get-up-and-go than normal.

I actually AM having a duvet day today. I had some jobs planned which I was going to try and push myself to do but then decided I'm not going to try and force anything today.