How am I going to get through therapy without being a sobbing mess every time?

[ServingMHissues]

I had my first therapy session yesterday and 5 minutes in I was crying, I cried through about 70% of the session. Even thinking about it makes me well up. I think it’s because I always brush it off day-to-day because I have my kids to look after, I don’t want them to worry about me seeing me upset, I don’t want to cry to my husband because as much as he tries to be supportive he just doesn’t understand and he struggles to find the words which just fills me with guilt. My other family we tend to use humour to get through, so we laugh everything off. So I think going to the therapist just felt like such a release.m, a really intense release. But now I feel like I’ve opened some form of emotional door and I’m constantly on the edge of tears and I don’t know how I’m going get through all these sessions without sobbing through half of them 🤣

anyone else feel like they’ve just suddenly opened the flood gates after their first therapy session?how did it go for you?

I think it’s a good thing. My therapist admitted she’d been waiting for me to cry for weeks as it would signal the start of recovery.

I cry a lot in therapy and I’ve been doing it for ages. There’s absolutely no value for you in self-repression. If your life means you are continually trying not to show negative emotion, surely it’s a good thing you’re now aware of this?

It’s a good thing in my opinion. It means you can actually get it all out and you will start to feel better soon. I was the same when I started therapy. Maybe 6 sessions in I wasn’t crying anymore and felt like I had worked through a lot of stuff.

there is nothing wrong with crying in therapy…. As you can imagine it’s quite common. Especially for those of us who tend to not cry outside of therapy in our everyday lives !

try to give yourself grace. My therapist taught me that trying to squash and suppress feelings actually just makes them hang around for longer. If you let yourself be upset when you’re upset, you are more likely to move through it, so to speak.

all the best and well done on starting therapy- it’s not easy.

I had 3 years of therapy, I think it saved my life (my DP was tragically killed) and yes in floods of tears many times and initially afterward I always felt drained but over time I found the tears healing and ultimately part of the process of grieving and acceptance.

For me my therapy took me beyond my initial grief of a life changing event and opened up areas of my younger self that I had keep bottled up, unknowingly to even myself at the time.

Don’t be afraid of the tears, being vulnerable and allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling at the time will help you in the long run.

I've been seeing someone for about 18 months and still cry most sessions.

Thanks all. I know really there is nothing wrong with crying and that it can be a good thing. It just feels a bit alien to me as I try so hard not to most of the time.

It gets better as it progresses. I used to go for a walk and a coffee to decompress after each session. And allow yourself to feel your emotions - cry if you want to.

I had two courses of therapy. 12 sessions each course. I would say I was less raw after maybe six ? For the first few I was a snotty mess with a red puffy face afterwards. By about 15 sessions I was no longer crying, just thoughtful and going over stuff in my head. By the end of the two courses I felt peaceful so it definitely worked. Needed to find the right therapist too - I changed after first two sessions as I felt he wasn’t listening to what I was saying and was too focussed in things that weren’t causing me any distress but that I’d mentioned in passing when answering questions.

I hope this helps - it does get better x

You will probably find that after a few more sessions you don't cry as much. Just relax and let it all out! I still have a little cry every session. It's become a running joke whether I need 2 tissues or 3!

I cried every session for the first 12 months of therapy. I joked that I must owe a fortune in tissues. It’s all the grief and stress coming out. One day you won’t feel the need to cry in therapy any more.

Let it out OP.

I've just been discharged from therapy after 29 sessions . It's difficult but It will get better.
I was emotional too but its ok to show emotion, it's our vulnerable side showing us they are there and need us too.

It about relearning our processes and how we deal with things xx

Sorry to hijack this thread but where can I find a good therapist. I’m dealing with so much stuff in my head and have no one to turn to. After years and years I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s therapy I really need and it doesn’t make me weak asking for help. Just not sure where to start with it all.

If you’re crying, it’s working. You have a good therapist, well done for making that choice!

This is a very hard thing to do, to allow yourself the vulnerability of crying is not only hard, but it is a sign that you're going in the right direction.
Bottling up your emotions will just come out in different ways, so allow yourself this time, and try to see it as you shedding negative feelings that you need to get rid of, before they start to suffocate you and make their way out in different areas of your life.

I was going to ask the same, really need it!

Those tears are inside you OP. If you don't let them out they will weigh you down and obscure your needs.

I understand. I booked a telephone GP appt this week because I’m tired of going into appointments and crying in front of people, and crying in public.