How to stop worrying?

[Ccjjc]

I’ve pretty much been worried from the day we got our positive test. My anxiety is through the roof.

I am about 10 weeks pregnant through IVF. I had to have a frozen embryo transfer due to risk of HSS and I feel like I’ve been going through the process forever. The idea of losing this baby and doing it all again (if it even works another time) is just terrifying to me. My mental health is at a low.

I’ve been convinced on multiple occasions I am having a miscarriage and get into such a state which I know is not good for the pregnancy / baby but it’s almost like I have no control.

I worry if I have symptoms, but I worry on the days I don’t have any or if they are a bit milder. I obsessively check for blood several times a day. I had some yellow tinged discharge on Monday (which happened again after returning to putting pessary in vaginally as rectally was making my stomach so bad) and I had a full blown panic attack, followed by sobbing on my partner’s arms. (I’d bled a few times due to vaginal irritation from the pessary so had to swap to rectally but have gone back now.)

When I had a transV scan at 7 weeks the doctor mentioned some left over blood around the top of sack but told me that ‘it’s nothing to worry about and to put it out of my mind.’ I sort of wish he didn’t tell me! I’ve had another scan since then and all is fine. But I’d be having ultrasounds every day if I could. And I’m already trying so hard not to pay for another private one.

I don’t know what I am after in response really. I’m just so defeated. I can’t do my job properly as I’m in a constant state of worry and wanting to go to the toilet to check. I am not enjoying anything and I keep pushing people out as I know I’m not fun to be around.

Im sat worrying now because I’m not feeling sick but I have felt awful for the last 5 days. I should be enjoying the not feeling sick for a bit moment but I just can’t. It’s automatically signalling that something is wrong in my head.

on another note, I am going to have to come off social media as everything I see about pregnancy freaks me out. Also my algorithm seems to just be about miscarriages.

I know I’d be fine eventually if it did end in bad news but for now I feel like I’m living in a personal hell 😞

Congratulations on your pregnancy. i had fertility issues and couldn’t enjoy my successful pregnancies at all. I was given extra reassurance scans as it was recognised that pregnant woman who’ve had fertility issues do benefit from more support.

In the end I accepted I would only ever enjoy the pregnancies in retrospect and tried to be as kind to myself as possible. I’ve had other health issues later in life and a consultant taught me to question my thoughts. Eg is there any value in lingering on a thought. Does it serve a genuine purpose. If yes, then think about it to take action. If it’s a worry that is out of my control, I’ve learnt to skip my mind onto something else. The technique is something along the lines of name the thought rather than try not to have it and tell yourself, oh I’m just having a “health worry thought” etc. I go a walk if I can or watch something that makes me laugh. Rumination feels useful to the body but it’s exhausting and destructive.

All the best.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I feel for you OP. I had issues with mine, my second in particular where I spent pretty much the whole time absolutely terrified or sobbing.

Just take it easy, avoid any more stress if you can and try to look after yourself is all you can do.

I would also highly recommend something like Headspace - I’m not a woo person at all but their meditation and sleeping support is brilliant. Plus there’s an AI therapist you can ‘talk’ to. Sounds bonkers but is very effective.

Good luck x