Mental health | Mumsnet

iamnotalemon · 19/08/2025 23:32

I’m sorry, it’s a tough situation to be in. Have you had any help for it? Medication or therapy? Just wanted to say that I understand and it’s understandable if you had a tough child hood x

Original poster

Followthestarsxoxo · 19/08/2025 23:48

I have years ago yes when I was a teen but they started talking about my childhood trauma and it was all abit too much for me

OP posts:

MiloMinderbinder925 · 19/08/2025 23:58

There's an organisation called NAPAC you might find helpful, they have a good helpline and are for people who experienced abuse in childhood. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to.

Have you been diagnosed with anything? You would probably find it really useful to have a proper diagnosis by a psychiatrist who can also prescribe medication.

CBT can be really useful in order to challenge unhelpful thoughts. It's particularly good for scenarios you describe. You can do a free online course called Beating the Blues or speak to your GP.

EMDR is sometimes available on the NHS and you might find it more helpful than traditional therapy. However if you want to go that route, psychodynamic therapy might be helpful. Not all therapy delves into your past. You might find BACP good to find a therapist.

Medication might also help and you can speak to your GP about it. You've spotted a pattern, so now you need to work on breaking the pattern.

Tryingmum456 · 20/08/2025 00:00

Are you on any medication? My anxiety was awful for years, like awful to the point I didn’t want to be here anymore. I started medication and without 2 months. I felt so much better. I was shocked this is how normal people live. Not constantly in a spiral of anxiety and awful thoughts. I really would advise you to visit your GP. You don’t have to live like this.

hellotomrw · 20/08/2025 00:06

A big step is how you are already so self aware. I know people who are like you but take no accountability at all and just blame everyone else

Pryceosh1987 · 20/08/2025 01:50

I think it is good to forget your childhood. That is the only solution to going further to life. I also had a tough childhood. I went to 3 different primary schools, i was physically attacked in all 3. We must forget to past before we can take a step into the future.

Original poster

Followthestarsxoxo · 20/08/2025 08:21

MiloMinderbinder925 · 19/08/2025 23:58

There's an organisation called NAPAC you might find helpful, they have a good helpline and are for people who experienced abuse in childhood. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to.

Have you been diagnosed with anything? You would probably find it really useful to have a proper diagnosis by a psychiatrist who can also prescribe medication.

CBT can be really useful in order to challenge unhelpful thoughts. It's particularly good for scenarios you describe. You can do a free online course called Beating the Blues or speak to your GP.

EMDR is sometimes available on the NHS and you might find it more helpful than traditional therapy. However if you want to go that route, psychodynamic therapy might be helpful. Not all therapy delves into your past. You might find BACP good to find a therapist.

Medication might also help and you can speak to your GP about it. You've spotted a pattern, so now you need to work on breaking the pattern.

Thank you. I do know I need to go to the doctors I just really struggle to speak out loud about these problems, I think they’re going to think I’m stupid or something. I don’t take any medication at all

I will give them a small thank you so much x

OP posts:

MiloMinderbinder925 · 20/08/2025 08:26

Followthestarsxoxo · 20/08/2025 08:21

Thank you. I do know I need to go to the doctors I just really struggle to speak out loud about these problems, I think they’re going to think I’m stupid or something. I don’t take any medication at all

I will give them a small thank you so much x

Show quote history

No problem. Say something like this to your GP:

I’m struggling, I feel like people are always out to get me, to the point I have quit jobs over it, I am very very defensive and will ruin relationships with people because of it, im rational but i would like to think im quite self aware so I know whats happening but I can’t control it, I will make up whole senarios in my head and make it so so much worse than it ever was.
i think everyone hates me deep down and then I tell myself I deserve to be hated anyway.

Ask about medication and therapy.

Cat3059 · 20/08/2025 08:36

If you find it difficult to say OP then write it down /print it out and give it to the doctor to read. That can be easier.

A traumatic childhood can have a profound effect on people as adults. I hope you get the help you deserve.

YumYa · 20/08/2025 08:40

I agree with writing it down.

Years ago I was experiencing lots of different symptoms. I thought I had some serious disease. So I wrote every symptom down. That was linked to my second marriage breaking down but manifested as physical. Writing it down helped the GP.

Best wishes to you. You're making the first step.

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/08/2025 08:45

Depending on what happened during your childhood it may well be that a part of your mind is using "they all hate me/out to get me" as a defence mechanism, because you needed that way of thinking to protect you when you were smaller.

Does this resonate?

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 20/08/2025 08:52

@Pryceosh1987

But how does the op do this exactly. It's not a case of mind over matter

YumYa · 20/08/2025 08:57

Pryceosh1987 · 20/08/2025 01:50

I think it is good to forget your childhood. That is the only solution to going further to life. I also had a tough childhood. I went to 3 different primary schools, i was physically attacked in all 3. We must forget to past before we can take a step into the future.

Bad advice

Original poster

Followthestarsxoxo · 20/08/2025 09:15

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/08/2025 08:45

Depending on what happened during your childhood it may well be that a part of your mind is using "they all hate me/out to get me" as a defence mechanism, because you needed that way of thinking to protect you when you were smaller.

Does this resonate?

thank you, I agree I know there is reason the way I’m reacting something that isn’t right in my brain

OP posts:

Original poster

Followthestarsxoxo · 20/08/2025 09:17

Pryceosh1987 · 20/08/2025 01:50

I think it is good to forget your childhood. That is the only solution to going further to life. I also had a tough childhood. I went to 3 different primary schools, i was physically attacked in all 3. We must forget to past before we can take a step into the future.

i was a victim of physical, mental and sexual abuse it’s not something I can just forget about unfortunately, I’ve done well for myself I have a good life and I’m proud of how far I’ve already came but my childhood has formed me into who I am today along with all the problems I deal with and how I handle certain situation’s

OP posts:

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 20/08/2025 10:32

How about emdr op.
Gave you looked at that. It's a brilliant therapy for ptsd and trauma.

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/08/2025 11:10

Followthestarsxoxo · 20/08/2025 09:15

thank you, I agree I know there is reason the way I’m reacting something that isn’t right in my brain

Edited

Show quote history

It's not so much that there's anything wrong with your brain it's that you learnt to think a particular way to cope with the abuse you went through and it's still working on the same parameters. It IS possible to change this – it a way of thinking and behaving that once protected you but isn't helpful now.

Imagine you broke a leg. You'd need crutches to get around and they would make your life a lot easier. However once your leg had healed those crutches would not only be no longer needed they would be a liability, so you'd stop using them. That's what's happening with your thoughts. Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis – lots of info on there.

Original poster

Followthestarsxoxo · 20/08/2025 11:56

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/08/2025 11:10

It's not so much that there's anything wrong with your brain it's that you learnt to think a particular way to cope with the abuse you went through and it's still working on the same parameters. It IS possible to change this – it a way of thinking and behaving that once protected you but isn't helpful now.

Imagine you broke a leg. You'd need crutches to get around and they would make your life a lot easier. However once your leg had healed those crutches would not only be no longer needed they would be a liability, so you'd stop using them. That's what's happening with your thoughts. Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis – lots of info on there.

Show quote history

Thank you again for replying, that’s a very good way to explain it to me. I’m going to have a look into getting some help on how I can make myself better

OP posts: