Feeling suicidal

[Helloanne1234]

And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to bother the gp, I don’t want to bother my therapist. I don’t want to leave my children behind, I promised my newborn id stick around for her. But I’m finding that harder and harder. I just want this to end.

Hi @Helloanne1234 , I didn’t want to read and run. I’m sure the gp and therapist wouldn’t see you as bothering them, that’s their job! Might you contact the mental health team (via 111 if you don’t have a contact)?
Do you have a plan to end your life? Do you have anyone with you? Remember the Samaritans are their 24/7 if you want to talk to someone.

I think your GP, your therapist and all the people who love and care for you would much prefer to be bothered. The current situation, whatever it is, will end once you start getting the help you need.

You can always talk to the Samaritans on 116 123.

(((HUG)))

you won't be 'bothering' your therapist, it's literally her job & your GPs!

Your children need you. They love YOU, you're their MUM, no one can
beat that. Your newborn, she'll feel so much guilt as she grows up blaming herself.

pregnancy hormones can be an absolute fucker, you need medical help to get them balanced out! It's not uncommon.

is there another adult in the house? If not call one that can come over now. I'd drop everything for someone in your situation!

Hi @Helloanne1234 I'm so sorry you are feeling so low, your children need you, you are loved, please dont give up. You can get emergency help by texting shout to 85258. Life can get better. If you feel in immediate danger please call 999, you won't be bothering them, they will be able to get you the help you need. I have seen first hand the devastation suicide causes to a family and I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt your beautiful children. X

So sorry you’re feeling like this; having young children can be so difficult and post baby hormones can make everything seem even worse. Please keep talking to us or seek help, it can and will get easier!

@Keepingthingsinterestingi have my husband here and he knows exactly that to do. I’ve not got concrete plans but what I do have is a plan to contact the GP tomorrow to request ssris. They are needed. Talking with my
husband brought great clarity that it’s either the meds (which I don’t really want) or continuing to feel this way, with whatever that brings. And I just can’t do that. So drugs it is.

Well done OP, that’s very brave. Keep going, things will eventually get easier.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources: https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health. You could also visit https://www.samaritans.org/ or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We hope things feel easier soon, OP.

This is such a great and brave step, well done! You should be really proud of yourself. Your children and everyone else who loves you will be so happy to have you around!

If this can make you feel slightly better knowing that there are hundreds of woman who have this same feeling, after having a baby, lot of different scenarios, your are not alone and this is normal but the first step to telling someone is the biggest. And you’ve done that so you should be proud. It’s ok to have some drugs to help balance you out! That is nothing to be ashamed of, give it a few weeks and you’ll start to feel ok. Trust me I’ve been there and went on my ‘happy pills’…. I felt a lot better and came off then 6 months later.

you got this xxx do it for your children & husband.

im so sorry you’re feeling so awful. It’s incredibly difficult to get through some things in life. Really really hard.
I think it’s a good idea to get the drugs to see if they can help. I’m a big believer in taking medication to help in situations like yours. It could be helpful and worth exploring.

if I was your friend- or even neighbour or colleague- I would appreciate you asking me for help and I would try to support you. I would not see this as being bothered. I would appreciate knowing I can maybe help you in a really dark time.

I hope you feel a lot more positive and comfortable soon and I hope you have a good visit to GP

good luck

I'm sending so much love, make sure you lean on your support networks. Make sure you bring your husband with you and he can help you at the GP appointment and also make sure you express the feelings you are having and ask for therapy and medication. I'd ask about DBT therpay or EMDR, both are more intense and cbt is often for low mood issues, so press the GP for something more intense. I hope the appointment goes well.

OP- are you okay???

Drugs are not the enemy OP, you wouldn’t deprive yourself of insulin, an inhaler etc if you needed them. This is a medical imbalance of your hormones that needs help to rebalance. Take the medicine and all offers of help and support.

can you contact your midwife?

your children want, need and love you - please don’t leave them. I have seen the devastation this causes and it’s lifelong.

suicide is a permanent solution to a short term problem. Seek help, you are already making the right steps by identifying the problem. You are strong and an excellent mother

Hope you're doing ok OP x