To feel a bit disheartened by the fact that many people still view self harm as being a rare/uncommon issue or thing to struggle with?

[Nonoanddefintelyno]

I read on an article the other day that it's estimated that up to 1 in 4 women will deliberately harm themselves at some point in their life, which would suggest that its not such a rare issue. Im not sure ho

That is a much higher than I would have expected. That really makes me feel sad that so many people are affected.

What does that mean though? I don’t think that stat is especially bothersome. “At some point in their life” includes, presumably, punching a wall in anger or drinking too much after a bad day. We’ve probably all self harmed like that at some point in our lives. But if it’s not a pattern of behaviour and if the injury isnt severe then it’s not necessarily a big deal.

Punching a wall in anger isn’t deliberate self harm.
Nor is drinking yourself into a stupor.
Plus everyone knows that’s not what the phrase “self harm” means

I self harmed when I was sixth form. This was in the 90s, and they had never dealt with it before and forced me to leave. No one knew what to do with me.

Now I see self harm defined as things such as doing too much over time at work or spending too much money, or time at the gym. I can't relate at all. I am a "traditional" self harmer where what I do can land me in A&E.

I spoke to my therapist about my own self harm issues a while ago and she said it’s much more common than you would think. Not sure if she was trying to make me feel less alone or what sort of harm she was referring to but I was a bit surprised. Everything online seems to always be aimed at teenagers, just to make you feel even worse about it.

It’s increasingly common amongst teens ages 13 upwards and almost trendy, so many girls are cutting themselves it’s frightening me.

Working within mental health this wouldn’t surprise me at all. However, I suppose how you see it has an impact on people’s perceptions. Speaking anecdotally in terms of what I see so far in terms of working in mh services:

Self injury (for example head bashing and scratching self seems to be common when dysregulated - and much higher incidences of this amongst our SEND young people)

self neglect (not taking medications as advised, hygiene and eating habits that have an impact on physical health)

Self harm - the type that most people think of, cutting, burning, scalding etc

I class all of these as forms of self harm albeit with different roots a lot of the time, and intentions being different. I’d work with yp to slowly move towards less harmful forms of harm…and then eventually, hopefully, to actual self care or self compassion.

Im conscious that im seeing this from a children’s mental health lens

I don’t think people viewing it as rare is the upsetting thing here. It being so common is the alarming thing, although it’s hard to trust the stats as it’s a very different thing if a lot of people tried it once or twice as a teenager to someone who it becomes a real issue for, and by its nature it’s a secretive thing that people around them will tend to be unaware of. But while they may be unaware of the prevalence, awareness that it is a thing is much wider now than ever before due to the internet, and there may be an argument that awareness of it has led to more people trying it. All of which to say, it’s a complicated and disheartening issue in lots of ways but the more important thing is how and whether a person can get help for it, rather than how rare people in general think it is.

I think it's over 50% in teenaged girls now. Pretty shocking

A difficulty is that it is so extremely socially contagious. I self-harmed (cut) myself in the late eighties/ early nineties and I had literally never heard of anyone doing such a thing. Initially I was trying to psyche myself up to kill myself by cutting my wrists, but of course I discovered the feelings of relief and absorption it generated.

But when I was in hospital during that period I became aware of an awful, irrational immature feeling that when someone else cuts (and you are not cutting), it invalidates your own distress. It starts to seem that cutting is needed in order for your distress to be real, vivid and socially acknowledged.

When that happens in a mental hospital it can be managed, but now we have the same social contagion happening on a massive scale, in schools and online. It is precisely because self-harm is more widely known about as a phenomenon that there are so many more situations in which the contagion can take hold.

Sure, perhaps people underestimate its frequency, but most people know that it is common - certainly people who have a professional responsibility in relation to self-harm. I'm not sure that any greater awareness would help the situation. More likely it would provide extra impetus for the social contagion.