Are my intrusive thoughts normal?

9425B · 2025-08-13T23:27:20+00:00

I have an almost 6 month old and I have no idea if some of my intrusive thoughts/worries are normal or not? We went for a walk, crossed over a bridge and stopped to look at the river. Immediately I’m picturing my baby drowned in the water and having his head smashed on the rocks. I can cross a road while carrying him but in his pram I feel so anxious, I imagine it being swiped by a car and can just picture the scene. I’m often worried about him having cancer or some other awful disease. I still have so many dreams about losing him, and I don’t mean losing him in the sheets in bed, but one minute he’s there and the next he’s gone, that someone’s taken him. Or if someone’s been watching him for me I go to collect him and they say they never had him, he’s nowhere. Sometimes I’m convinced he doesn’t like or want me. I leant near him to remove a sharp skewer like thing that was too close to him and the image of it stabbed into his eye is instantly in my mind. Just a few but there are so many, is this any level of normal?!

MiloMinderbinder925 · 14/08/2025 00:31

Speak to your health visitor or try Pandas: https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/

PANDAS Foundation UK

We are here, whatever the weather, to offer hope, empathy and support for every parent or network affected by perinatal mental illness.

https://pandasfoundation.org.uk

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 14/08/2025 00:52

I think it's probably anxiety and that you are working hard. Also, it could be a sign you need some rest/time for yourself. It sounds like you you don't feel fully in control at the moment for whatever reason. You could just need a break, if that's possible with a little one!

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 14/08/2025 00:57

It is a big responsibility being in charge of a baby. Your brain could just be taking that responsibility in. I found the first year a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, that combined with sleep deprivation and anxiety can do funny things to you. Id say you're fine. Take a break for yourself/nap when you get the chance

nothingbeats · 14/08/2025 00:58

I have intrusive thoughts like this too. Happens when I’m drinking too, i imagine driving into cars or off bridges. It’s really scary

Maraudingmarauders · 14/08/2025 01:08

Speak to a HV or your GP if you’re concerned but I’d say it’s in line with my own thoughts - the worst for me was going down stairs, I’d regularly imagine his little body crashed on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. They says it’s your brains way of making you be careful, so that’s how I try to frame it. Imaging them dying 8 times a day does get wearing though. I do it with other people too though, all kinds of car crashes and terrible accidents.

sparebooks · 14/08/2025 01:51

I got these kinds of thoughts too, although they did pass a bit after the first year. I think some people just have that kind of brain. Pp is right to say it makes you more vigilant which let’s face it is necessary with young kids. Maybe it’s evolutionary.

Chick981 · 14/08/2025 02:24

Yes it’s normal but it doesn’t mean you have to suffer. I had CBT for anxiety with both of mine and found it did help a lot, I don’t think I will ever truly be free of them and I think it is in part to do with us being on high alert looking for danger, but I did find that CBT reduced the frequency of them massively. I also found that lack of sleep would make them worse.

Eyesopenwideawake · 14/08/2025 07:25

It is normal and, weird as it may seem, it's a protection mechanism. To stop people doing things that may harm them, or those around them, the mind prompts the imagination to show you the results/consequences of a particular action.

That's why people instinctively step back from high cliffs or tall buildings – the image of what would happen if they fell is enough to move them back to safety.

Because you're a new mum you are naturally focussing on these thoughts more than you would do if they were about you. Rather than dwell on them just say (internally, not out loud in the middle of Asda!) 'got it, next please' and allow that thought to drift by without paying it any undue attention.

TaborlinTheGreat · 14/08/2025 07:42

It's normal to have some intrusive thoughts like this. The best way to think about it imo is that it's your primitive brain (alert for predators) trying to anticipate any dangers, to keep you and your loved ones safe. Instead of thinking there must be something wrong with you, just try saying 'Yeah, thanks for the safety check, brain. I've looked and there are no sabre-tooth tigers!' It's not the initial intrusive thought that's the problem. It's our reaction to it.

In my experience, the more often you manage to do this, the more quickly you can move on from the intrusive thought. I had pretty bad anxiety after dc2 was born and it really helped.

Original poster

9425B · 14/08/2025 10:39

TaborlinTheGreat · 14/08/2025 07:42

It's normal to have some intrusive thoughts like this. The best way to think about it imo is that it's your primitive brain (alert for predators) trying to anticipate any dangers, to keep you and your loved ones safe. Instead of thinking there must be something wrong with you, just try saying 'Yeah, thanks for the safety check, brain. I've looked and there are no sabre-tooth tigers!' It's not the initial intrusive thought that's the problem. It's our reaction to it.

In my experience, the more often you manage to do this, the more quickly you can move on from the intrusive thought. I had pretty bad anxiety after dc2 was born and it really helped.

Thank you, good way of looking at it, will definitely try this!

OP posts:

Original poster

9425B · 14/08/2025 10:40

Eyesopenwideawake · 14/08/2025 07:25

It is normal and, weird as it may seem, it's a protection mechanism. To stop people doing things that may harm them, or those around them, the mind prompts the imagination to show you the results/consequences of a particular action.

That's why people instinctively step back from high cliffs or tall buildings – the image of what would happen if they fell is enough to move them back to safety.

Because you're a new mum you are naturally focussing on these thoughts more than you would do if they were about you. Rather than dwell on them just say (internally, not out loud in the middle of Asda!) 'got it, next please' and allow that thought to drift by without paying it any undue attention.

Makes sense, thanks for your reply.

OP posts:

Original poster

9425B · 14/08/2025 10:42

Maraudingmarauders · 14/08/2025 01:08

Speak to a HV or your GP if you’re concerned but I’d say it’s in line with my own thoughts - the worst for me was going down stairs, I’d regularly imagine his little body crashed on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. They says it’s your brains way of making you be careful, so that’s how I try to frame it. Imaging them dying 8 times a day does get wearing though. I do it with other people too though, all kinds of car crashes and terrible accidents.

I feel bad thinking thank god I’m not the only one but you know what I mean! It’s exhausting having those thoughts isn’t it, I get it with my mum too, sending hugs to you and thanks for replying.

OP posts:

Cilliana · 14/08/2025 10:48

TaborlinTheGreat · 14/08/2025 07:42

It's normal to have some intrusive thoughts like this. The best way to think about it imo is that it's your primitive brain (alert for predators) trying to anticipate any dangers, to keep you and your loved ones safe. Instead of thinking there must be something wrong with you, just try saying 'Yeah, thanks for the safety check, brain. I've looked and there are no sabre-tooth tigers!' It's not the initial intrusive thought that's the problem. It's our reaction to it.

In my experience, the more often you manage to do this, the more quickly you can move on from the intrusive thought. I had pretty bad anxiety after dc2 was born and it really helped.

That is often the thing with ocd, it’s the taking of the thoughts seriously rather than the thoughts themselves that are the issue. Giving them headspace.

That said, it does seem like you’re having rather a lot of intrusive thoughts too? That the number of them is atypically high at the moment and a problem. Would you be able to chat to your GP about the situation? OCD can be treated.

QuantumMottle · 14/08/2025 10:49

I have these, have done for years, they drive me nuts. I do similar to a pp, although I don't thank my brain for them! I'm more of a rolling my eyes "well thats a bit much, thanks brain".

I do have well-controlled anxiety and know the two are linked.

Gingerkittykat · 15/08/2025 03:49

I don't think your intrusive thoughts are normal. I was having lots of similar intrusive and obsessional thoughts and saw a mental health nurse who prescribed a low dose SSRI which really helped me.

Cilliana · 15/08/2025 09:41

I think you should see someone too OP. You’re going through a lot with these thoughts. I don’t think it’s typical to think like this as much as you have described. Has it always been like this for you or has it become worse since your baby was born?

shuffleofftobuffalo · 15/08/2025 09:46

Your intrusive thoughts are not normal! They would be be called “intrusive” if they were. I can’t believe people are minimising them. Please see someone about this OP, it’s a symptom of something like anxiety or depression.

Borgonzola · 15/08/2025 09:50

No advice, but my second is 6mo and I’m still having these thoughts too.

Wish44 · 15/08/2025 10:03

Normal op!

thank your brain for pointing these things out to you and move on.

if you give them attention or think they are meaningful they will get worse.

think of a happy calming image and when you have n intrusive thought replace it with nice image.

if you can’t control your response to Intrusive thoughts then see go for ssri.

remember they are just thoughts and so not make you a bad person. If you were a bad person then the thoughts wouldn’t bother you.

good luck op. I had them very very badly and some of the images my brain generated gave me trauma. I had emdr for those images. Fantastic .

Wish44 · 15/08/2025 10:06

shuffleofftobuffalo · 15/08/2025 09:46

Your intrusive thoughts are not normal! They would be be called “intrusive” if they were. I can’t believe people are minimising them. Please see someone about this OP, it’s a symptom of something like anxiety or depression.

I work in MH and they are normal in that a huge percentage of the. Population have them to one degree or other. For many it’s tiny… like the thought to throw something off a bride when walking over it etc. for some the thought s are worse and for some they are debilitating… it’s a spectrum.