Don’t want to be a mum anymore

[Unknown127]

I’m 26 with a 3 year old and a baby due in January. And I just don’t want to be a mum anymore.

toddler doesn’t listen, wrecks everything, spits at me and around my home, breaks my things, anything she shouldn’t be doing she does. She’s going to nursery in September.

just to note I do have adhd depression and anxiety and ptsd. I am unmedicated due to sickness in pregnancy and being unable to keep it down, but am waiting for some new meds to be prescribed after an emergency perinatal mh appointment.

im not asking anything I suppose. Just a rant maybe. I don’t get a break, children’s dad isn’t involved and that’s for the best. Feel like I can’t breathe alone. Very overwhelmed.

potty training has gone to sh*t. Completely regressed and did just won’t do it, no matter what encouragement/rewards/ routines I try.

wont get out of my bed, stays in her own intermittently but usually ends up in mine. Just had a big house move due to problems with the last property and had to start from scratch again.

I shout too much have no patience and can’t stand to be around kids in general at the moment, even my own.

I don’t know what to do or where to turn. I have no support unfortunately and prior to this pregnancy we were ok and managing.

feel like I’ve been crying out for help for months, but not getting anything back no matter how much or who I beg. I don’t want to lower myself to begging people who should care but don’t for help.

im at a loss and fed up. I’m writing this in tears but I just don’t want to be a mum anymore.

Oh I'm so sorry op, that sounds very difficult. Have you told your midwife how you are feeling?

Leave the potty training. What adult do you know that can’t use a toilet? She will get it eventually. Just put it to one side, some children can just take longer and then do it suddenly at around three and never look back.

Could she have ADHD too?

Take it easy today. Take short cuts. Get help from your public health nurse if you have one? What about your gp? Or your maternity midwife.

Just keep asking and keep resting whenever you can for now. If you can both sleep with her in your bed, do that. Just get your sleep.

It won’t always be this difficult x x

I felt like this around that age. My first was an absolute handful and then I had the most chill, content, happy little dude that was all smiles and giggles.
Some are harder than others but your first is no indication of what your next will be like.

Can you ask your doctor for a Homestart referral? You'll get a volunteer for 3 hours per week to give you a tiny break.

had considered this but those around me keep stating she’s fine and I’m the problem. Did a referral to early help for support and was asked if I’d considered she could be autistic, we have a developmental review at the end of the month to rule it out.

but update for the rest of the afternoon, we had a sudocrem incident, always fun. Resulted in lots of cleaning, showers and tea in the garden. I’m writing the day off and hoping tomorrow is a better one. Trying to breathe instead of shout and will try and get out for fresh air if it’s any cooler. Toddlers aren’t fun. But I’m sure once my medication is sorted I’ll start to feel better. Thanks for everyone’s advice x