First of all I must say that I would never commit suicide. I love my DH & adult DC far too much to hurt them like that. But, I do wish I could not wake up tomorrow.
Everything has become too much. I have multiple health issues, including depression, and take handfulls of meds every day. I have been like this for almost two decades. We have loads of stressors as a family: ASD, disability, loss of family members & friends, a recent house move, and very little support from wider family. My DH is also disabled and is showing memory issues and that scares me. There is so much to do to sort everything out and most of that falls to me.
I am now on the highest dose of my antidepressant. It has been working quite well and I have been through loads of different ones before finding this one as a last resort. But now there is nothing else I can take. I have been told that the only option is counselling, but I don’t think that would work.
I am not really sure why I am posting here! Perhaps just to get it all off my chest.