Anxiety has come back again after DD2 and gone on ADs but don't know if I've done the right thing.

[Leytonmum]

I had anxiety straight after the birth of DD1 and ended up going on ADs. I was lucky that I seemed to get over it in a few months and I just thought it was related to adjusting to having to look after a baby, no sleep and a complete change of lifestyle. After three months, I felt a lot better. But I had DD2 in December and the first three months went OK - tiring but no anxiety then suddenly I came crashing down, feeling anxious, couldn't sleep, tearful etc. Have spent the last two months, having CBT to try and get over it but can be OK for a few days then come crashing down again. Have started ADS - dosulepin - but side effects are unpleasant and now worried I should have kept trying without ADs. Not sure what to do.

You poor thing. Well done for getting the help you needed. You tried the counselling but if that wasn't helping enough then it was right to look at what else you could do to help you feel better. Remember that extreme anxiety is caused by a chemical imbalance and that the AD's will give you back a balance and help you get over this. The side effects you mention - are these because you've only just started taking the tablets or have you been on them more than 2 weeks? If it's more than 2 weeks may be worth mentioning to GP as there's plenty of alternatives available that may suit you better. Have you got plenty of support while you're going through this?

Thank you for the advice about ADs. I've only just started them so will give it a couple of weeks. I thought that I got anxiety the first time round because motherhood was such a shock but to get it again, I just don't understand. It feels as if I can't cope being a Mum like other people can. I love DD1 and DD2 but seem to get very anxious around them.

I completely understand. I had PND with DD1 and ended up on AD's and because I'd had a previous episode with depression I really couldn't be sure when i looked back whether it was genuinely PND or just new mum super anxiety. I don't suppose at the end of the day it matters what you call it as long as you get the help you need.

I had DS1 a year ago and there's no doubt it's been touch and go on occasion as to whether I was sinking back into some sort of anxeity problem again. I think if I hadn't had such an understanding DP and a very flexible job think it would be inevitable. I don't know about you but I am an anxious person anyway. Having kids just gives me more stuff to fret about.

You need to try to focus on getting rid of negative thoughts - did you talk about this in CBT? You can cope with being a mum, you ARE coping with being a mum, you've been brave enough to admit there's a problem and seek help. My CBT taught me to set small goals, be proud of achieving them, try and do something which you enjoy every day. Don't give yourself a hard time, just keep going for now because you will feel better very soon. Next time you feel anxious with the kids stop and think about why that might be. Allow extra time for stuff, take deep breaths. Don't set yourself too many targets within a day, just go with the flow a bit more than maybe you would normally.

Thank you for that. Sometimes I think you need someone else to help you get of that negative thinking when you're having a bad day and today I keep doubting myself. Will try not to focus on why I feel anxious and just get on with trying to feel better. Your advice has been really helpful and it's good to know that you seem to have got through the bad period.

I have always been an anxious person too but being a Mum seems to bring it out much more plus I'm on maternity leave so don't really have anything else to focus on but the kids. Am trying to find time and energy to do something else outside the kids but sometimes it's hard.

My pleasure, glad I could help. Mat leave may mean more time with the kids but also means more time to dwell and over analyse too when you're anxious. If it's any consolation I have found having two has forced me to slow down, be stricter about work time and kids time, get myself organised and make sure I have a little time for myself built in to every week (because as you've already found it certainly wont happen by accident!). Having one child meant I was still trying to be super-worker and super-mum and beating myself up when I fell short. Now I've got two am resigned to fact it's just not possible - can only be one at a time

You know where this thread is though if you want some help with those negative thoughts.