Has anyone successfully overcome body dysmorphia?

[peoplegetreadyforthetrain]

I’ve had body dysmorphia since my early teens. I thought I’d overcome it but it’s reared its head again at the grand old age of 38. I feel it’s time to get rid of it for good but I don’t know how.

Basically, one of my features is a bit irregular. I can go for many years not thinking about it but then suddenly I go through these periods of insecurity where I think about it multiple hours per day, constantly checking mirrors and worrying about people looking at me from certain angles.

I was in an exercise class earlier and all I could think for the whole hour was oh my god, every single one of these women has a nicer [insert body part] than me, I wish I looked like any of them instead of myself. I know that sounds ridiculous but just trying to explain the situation!

I’ve wasted god knows how many hours (probably actually weeks or months) of my life googling it and looking at Reddit etc as well.

When I’m in a more stable phase I am still aware that it’s not my best feature, but I can rationalise it that others might think I have lovely hair or teeth or eyes or something instead and that nobody is perfect. But when I’m in a bad phase it just overtakes everything and I lose all perspective and it becomes the only thing I can focus on and feel like everyone is noticing it and pitying me.

I have a lovely husband and two brilliant kids so I really am so lucky and really shouldn’t be letting this take over my life.

I have confided in a few people how insecure I feel about this feature and they’ve all been lovely and said they literally wouldn’t notice anything different from the norm (but they’re all people who care for me and so may just be being nice).

Basically, I know this is ridiculous and no way to live and that I need to get a grip but I don’t know how. Has anyone experienced something similar and how did you get past it? Would the GP be able to do anything? Do I need counselling/anxiety meds? I know I need to do something but I don’t know what.

Can you remember the circumstances around when and why it started? Finding the origin and invalidating it is often the most successful way.

It’s extremely hard to get treatment for BDD via the NHS. The recommended treatment is BDD specific CBT with medication (SSRIs) often higher than normal dose. BDD specific CBT is longer than the usual 10 weeks you get under the NHS.

The BDD foundation have been offering an online group counselling which is excellent quality and lasts about 20 weeks. Not sure if this is running currently but you could contact them to ask. I did this course and it was extremely helpful.

They outline how to access other support here:

https://bddfoundation.org/support/

There is also this book (David Veale is the UKs leading expert on BDD so anything with his name on is pretty good).

https://bddfoundation.org/overcoming-bdd-book-2nd-edition/

Looking at the causes can be helpful to understand where this comes from, but these are usually multifaceted and can include genetic predisposition so it’s usually not the silver bullet on its own.

This is amazingly helpful! Thank you. Definitely going to look into all of this.

Yes, I do know exactly how it started unfortunately, I don’t know if I’d be able to find a way to invalidate it but if I could that would be amazing.

That's really useful (that you know that). There's a part of your subconscious mind that developed a belief based on that event, comment or incident and it's still working on that belief today – not to hurt you but to protect you.

Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis, lots of info on there about how and why the mind works the way it does, and how it can be helped to update the internal operating system.

Thank you, that’s a great suggestion. I had no idea that this was a potential option and it’s definitely something to look into, thank you!

It all stems from one particular event when I was I think 12 or 13, so possibly the worst age for forming these beliefs and insecurities. The one and only bonus is that I think it’s informed my own parenting and I am better equipped to prevent my own daughters being in a similar situation.

Sounds a bit weird but I had terrible anxiety in my teens into early 20s then it went away and came back early 40s. Seems it was linked to hormones and as soon as I entered perimenopause it reared it head again. At 38 you could easily be in the early stages of peri. Something to look at anyway.