Ive been with my partner 4 years. We own a house and dog together. I have a daughter aged 16 from a previous marriage, and I’m 34 he’s 27.
In the 4 years we have been together I’ve had a diagnosis of bipolar and BPD, and now a settled court case from an episode of mania. Hard and testing times but came through it. Last year we made the heartbreaking choice to terminate a pregnancy (please don’t judge) as I was too unwell. He chose this as he said he wasn’t ready and I couldn’t do it alone. We spoke about having a family and marriage, and due to the hard period his plan to propose a year 3 didn’t happen. It’s coming upto year 4 and I gave myself a timeline (I’m 34 and wanted stuff for myself) after a very difficult past. I’ve communicated this with him. I wanted to be engaged by year 3 and a child after. I agree for now I need to work on my mental health so have chose to have the contraceptive coil for 5 years. I asked him openly if he planned a proposal any time soon and he said not year 4, and that he wanted to do it ‘his way’ as it’s the only time he plans to do it. And that’s that. There is no plans for children in the near future.
My question is this.. I have my wants and dreams and each year nothing happens. All his friends are starting to get married, and have children. He doesn’t see the rush as me. I feel like because of my diagnosis and things I’m not a catch to marry and settle with. He said this isn’t the case. I’m working on my meds atm and myself. I’m not sure how long I can continue to feel like this will never happen. The choices or no children and marriage are his alone. He knows I have massive hopes for this but still won’t do it.