So terribly alone

[Starsunnysad]

That’s just it. Apart from dd 20) who left home a year ago I have nobody really.
All hit home recently as I had a few minor surgeries and she had to accompany for one and made a bit of a mess of it really, ie not following hospital instructions which potentially put me at risk. She’s also not shown much thougtfulness on other occasions but I excuse it as she’s incredibly busy at work & socially and she must feel the burden of being my “only person “ if that makes sense.
i have no other family and no close friends anymore. I just feel like a total burden and sometimes wonder what purpose my existence is.
I’ve tried making friends but it’s easier said than done .

She’s only 20 op, she doesn’t have the life experience you have, I think we all would have been out of our depth at that age! Sorry you feel like this, are there any things you’ve always wanted to do? Do you like reading, do you get immersed in magazines, tv and music?That might help you stop thinking about being alone, also any women’s shed, community projects or charity work are good for getting out- I won’t say good for making friends because hopefully that will just happen but I think too many people try to make it happen nc it’s mostly just luck but getting out more can help. Do you have any relatives or old friends you haven’t thought of if you know what I mean? Hugs x

@stayathomer thank you for your reply. I know she’s still very young and I hate to burden her but I did have to tell her that after the surgery a few weeks ago she did put me ( and potentially others) at risk. She understands now ( I thought she did before) that she needed to be more careful/thoughtful if the situation ever arises ageing. The instructions were very simple tbh and I’m obviously disappointed she didn’t think properly but I also understand I must be a burden & she’s busy .
No there’s nobody I haven’t thought of unfortunately.
I enjoy reading, but that’s not going to produce any friends and I’m not interested in a book club.
I’ve tried dating but it never works out. I also have a full on job which doesn’t give me much time for meeting people.

Bless you OP, yes you do need to find other friends and not rely on your DD! Unfortunately it will only backfire as she will be busy etc. But, the good news, is that your time is yours now and you can plan to spend it however you like! What sorts of things do you enjoy?

@LemonBeagle thank you for your reply. I know i shouldn’t reply on her so much and generally I don’t. It’s just this surgery that’s hit me and worry she could have put us both & others in danger by not following the hospital instructions.
i know it should be liberating and a whole new chapter of my life but i just feel so bad. I used to like doing things alone sometimes, but now I live alone I don’t want to do much. Typical 😩

Give yourself time, surgery is a but undertaking. Takes a while to get your confidence back. Don't dwell, just do nice things that make you feel comfortable and safe 🌺

@LemonBeagle thanks. I’m worried dd feels like a failure in her attempts to look after me too. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything but felt I had to to help better understand for the future and I was almost having a panic attack about what could ( but didn’t ) have happened.

To be honest I meant reading just to enjoy life! That’s what I kind of mean, the more you think ‘must make friends’, the harder it’s going to be. I’m probably wrong but I think the secret is to enjoy life and get out too. And you’re not a burden and I’m sure she doesn’t see you as such, people want to help their family, I just meant at 20 I possibly wouldn’t have followed hospital procedures properly either

@stayathomer thenk you. Yes, that’s a good idea.
i think she did want help and clearly felt awkward when i had a chat with her about what went wrong. My mind is just tortured by the fact she put me and others at risk - I don’t really want go into more detail on here.

Bump

How could she have put others at risk?

@SeagullFreeZone i don’t want to detail that on here but suffice to say she did. But luckily all was ok.