Worried about SSRI suicide risk

[Xenomoth]

I’m once again at the point where I’m considering taking and SSRI (escitalopram) for anxiety. I’m on beta blockers but they only help the physical side of anxiety.

I’m not sure if I’m just overthinking, but I’m so worried about the potential suicide risk from taking an SSRI. I’m not suicidal in the least-in fact I’m scared of death-but I’m worried that taking an antidepressant could skew my thoughts in an unpredictable way.

One of my fears with my mental health in general is the fear of loosing control and becoming not myself anymore. I’ve become convinced that by taking an SSRI I put myself even more at risk of this and that I won’t be in control of my feelings and actions anymore.

Has anyone else dealt with this fear? Or, has anyone become suicidal from taking these drugs?!

Been on them for years, no side effects apart from getting rid of the feelings of hopelessness, no suicidal thoughts , and my personality isn’t dumbed down at all as my friends inform me I’m still a massive bell end 😂 I’d give them a go and try not to worry

I was told that the increased risk of suicide relates to patients who were already suicidal/having thoughts of S/SH. It explained that it was largely patients who were previously too depressed to follow through with plans prior to starting SSRIs.

Happy to be corrected by someone with greater medical knowledge though.

I've never had that side effect from SSRIs and neither have the people I know who take them, but it does exist. Do you have someone who can keep an eye on you for the first few weeks to spot any signs of deterioration?

I have my husband who would keep an eye on me. As I said, I’m definitely not suicidal but I am however a very impulsive person and have struggled with impulse control throughout my life. I also have a mind which races and seems to never be at rest, I’m concerned that it’ll become worse.

I know people who’ve taken them and none say that this was a side effect. I got freaked out by that very sad story about the queen’s relative (James Windsor?) who shot himself after starting taking Citalopram. Apparently his family blamed the drug and said he was never suicidal before, although I suppose no one can know what he was really feeling.

It's understandable that you're nervous. But weigh up the benefits, if the drug works for you - do they outweigh it?

I am incredibly grateful for SSRIs. The difference in the quality of life when I had uncontrolled anxiety compared to life on SSRIs is amazing.

No, I don’t think that’s been shown.

But some studies have found that the risk of suicide/suicidal ideation from SSRIs is greater in people under 25. Not sure how old you are OP but that might reassure you.

I also think awareness of the potential for it to be a side effect will help you, especially if you also make your husband aware. And of course, the vast majority of people who take them have no issues with this side effect at all.

I’m nowhere near 25, I’m nearly 40 so not in the at risk age group. If it worked for me it would be life-changing. Perhaps in a way this is one of the reasons I’m scared. If it doesn’t work for me then where do I go next? Or if the side effects are intolerable, what do I do? I’ve tried just about every non-medical ‘solution’ you could think of and nothing changes.

@Xenomoth I read that story about James Windsor too. I read about it in detail because I wanted to understand.

I think the problem was that he started the drug, but it disagreed with him, and he stopped taking is suddenly after a few days. I think he went from having the antidepressant in his system, to having it go away very suddenly and that was what plunged him into much more severe depression and led him to suicide very suddenly.

They said that the key with these drugs is that you have to stop them very gradually.

I think it probably didn't help that he owned a shotgun and amunition. Most people don't have access to that, and I've read that suicide is much more common amoung people who have the means readily to hand.

Apparently horse vets are particularly at risk, because they have to have the drugs and the knowledge to euthanase horses.

Sorry, that was a lot of information. I hope it helps a bit.

I used to work in Pharma and one of the drugs I was involved with was an SSRI
The clinical studies I saw suggested that SSRI's ONLY increase the likelihood of suicide as they lift mood enough for someone to actually take action. I don't think that on their own they could be said to cause suicide, but I am not medically qualified
I expect its easier for a family to blame something external in a case like that

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. That sound very difficult.

I see what you mean. That they could give someone a boost in energy sufficient for them to act on thoughts that were previously just ideas. Either way, it’s tragic, I just can’t understand how a drug could have this as a side effect. Especially since it’s supposed to help depression and anxiety. The first time I was prescribed Citalopram it just spooked me so much that I put it in the back of the cupboard and couldn’t bring myself to take it.