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Where did the support go after I gave birth?

1 reply

carlaxh · 21/07/2025 21:31

Ever since I had my baby, I’ve been feeling completely invisible to my in-laws. When I was pregnant, they were checking in on me constantly asking how I was feeling, if I needed anything, always making me feel cared for. But now that the baby is here, it’s like I no longer exist in their eyes. All the attention has shifted to the baby (and among themselves), and no one ever asks how I’m doing anymore not physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I understand that the baby is a huge focus, and I love how loved my child is. But I can’t help feeling so overlooked. It’s like my only value was in carrying the baby, and now that I’ve done that, I’ve just faded into the background.

What makes it even harder is that I don’t have much support from my own family, so I had really come to rely on my in-laws during my pregnancy. They made me feel like I was part of the family, and that meant so much to me. Now that sense of connection is just… gone. I feel lonely, and honestly, kind of hurt.

I’m doing my best to be strong for my baby, but I really wish someone would ask how I am doing. I wish I felt like someone cared about me too.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you cope? I’m trying to keep perspective, but it’s been rough

OP posts:
postmanshere · 22/07/2025 05:44

I think this is quite common and also comes alongside a complete shift in your own identity, which can make it harder. During my first pregnancy I had people checking in on me all the time and as soon as the baby was born it was all about her, even though she was thriving and I was drowning. I felt quite let down and abandoned.

The second time around I decided to not tell anyone I was pregnant. Seems extreme but I couldn’t deal with the let down that came afterwards. I even managed to hide a 38 week pregnancy at a family dinner under a large jumper! I’m glad I did because I have 0 expectations from family, as they were never established.

I’m sorry this is happening to you, I know how rotten it is. Remember we are all our own little islands and to just keep the peace as best you can on yours and reach out to other islands as and when you want to but try not to depend on them. Good luck and congratulations.

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