Complete mental breakdown & work

[Zombieof3]

This weekend has been horrific, I could feel my mental health deteriorating over the week, Saturday came around and I just crumbled. I haven’t been able to do anything, I’ve been crying when I’m not much of a crier, I’ve had intense suicidal urges but I know how to keep safe and not act on them but it doesn’t make the feelings any easier to bear.
Today has been more of the same and the idea of work tomorrow is making everything so much worse. I’m absolutely broken, idk what to do. I can’t have time off as my absences are too high, and I can’t risk to lose my job. Mainly though I don’t want to let my coworkers down as they’re struggling and all of my clients will go over to them if I go off. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like I can do anything, I have made myself such small goals for today of basically stay alive and rest where I can. Thankfully I have a supportive partner but I just hate the fact I have such poor mental health. I feel like I’m having a breakdown of sorts. Idk if this even makes any sense, I’m just tired. I’m tired of hurting, I don’t want this pain anymore, I need it to go

I’m so sorry you’re struggling OP. Have you got ongoing professional help with your mental health? If not, I’d really recommend starting that process today.

You sound burnt out. I had what I thought was a mental breakdown bit it was burnout.

If you just go to work tomorrow I would put yours to bed today tosleep and rest

So sorry you’re feeling so rubbish and sending love x

You don’t need to go to work tomorrow. Sign yourself off and get in touch with your doctor - you’re medically unfit to work and will be protected regardless of your absence levels. It’s time to give yourself some time to start getting better.

I know it’s difficult when you think about the others at work but try and think what you would say to and feel about one of them if they were going through what you’re going through xx

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, what job do you do? Can you wfh? I found that wfh during my mental health issues helped enormously as I felt safe at home whilst recovering

OP you need to put yourself first.

If it is getting to the point where you are having suicidal thoughts you need to make an appointment to urgently see your GP who can discuss medication and adding you to the NHS counselling list.

You should not ignore this and it is unlikely to go away with a day of rest!

You need to sign yourself off work and focus on addressing your health issues.

It could get even worse if you ignore it.

Frankly you boss and colleagues should not be your first priority.

im just worried tbh that I’ll lose my job which will impact us all even more as I’m already in a whole load of debt.

my mental health has been an ongoing issue, I’m on medication but I don’t think it’s working, I’ll make a gp appointment to discuss this. I had intense dbt therapy which has massively helped me, prior to this I was in and out of hospital with suicide attempts etc. so now I know to fight these thoughts and feelings to keep me safe but I’m exhausted. I’m so tired, the idea of going to work and putting on a brave face is something I don’t think I can do.

im worried for my colleagues, I’ll be putting so much on them. We have a new group for our clients which I’m supposed to be running this week, I’ll just be dumping everything on them but I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t think I’m well enough to work at all right now

Phone NHS Direct option 2 and speak to the mental health team.

Unfortunately, they’re very strict on wfh, I’d have to go out and see clients regardless and then go to the office to run groups, it doesn’t work for us sadly 😢

I don’t think I need too. I’m safe, just feel utterly like crap and that I can’t cope. I’m in bed just trying to get through today, my partner is with the kids x

From the sounds of it, you work with vulnerable people? You can't do that when you are vulnerable yourself OP x

I spoke with my colleagues and apologised but that I won’t be in, they were actually really nice about it. I feel like a whole weight has been lifted, does that mean that work is the issue? Idk what’s wrong with me

How are you doing @Zombieof3 ? :)

Sorry, I’ve only just seen this. I’m feeling a lot of better thank you, medication seems to be helping but it definitely seems to be triggered by my menstrual cycle.

I also struggled with my mental health burnout and hormones.

Now I'm not living in the fumes of existence and taking hrt I've realised just how much periods took it out of me, and as such have a secondary diagnosis of Pmdd

I’ve struggled in the past and it was most definitely work. How’s things going now for you now OP?

THIS.

It is your employer's responsibility to manage / rearrange your workload when you are away / off.

Health over work

Take care

Thank you everyone, I’m back in work and have been handed a formal absence review meeting, so that’s not great but there was no way I could have done my job with how unwell I was.