NC for this as quite a lot of medical info. Long, sorry.
I have (among others, of course) 2 major issues in my daily life: my extreme clumsiness, and not having an absolute clue of the direction I'm going unless it's a familiar place - if I visit your home for the first time and you point me to the loo, I won't be able to come back to the living room without visiting accidentally your bedroom first.
They won't assess me for dyspraxia though, as they said the cause should be not linked to any other possible medical cause, and I had a neurosurgery as a child.
Basically at the age of 2 I still couldn't stand unaided, I had hip dysplasia and took 9 month to correct that but at the end of the treatment nothing was solved. Whilst trying to stand, I fell backwards, hit my head and went unconscious.
A CT scan was performed and they found a cyst in the cerebellum that hindered the spinal fluid from passing through and impacted on my balance. A peritoneal shunt was fitted and apparently the problem was solved. I started walking and doing everything, but I have never acquired the right skills at the right time (or at any time at all).
My co-ordination is awful, I bump into things, knock things, fall down often.
Now, I live an apparently normal life - a highly qualified sitting down office job, a DH and a DS. Diagnosed with PND and PNA after DS was born, after 8 years I'm still on 75 mg sertraline. On regular, predictable days I'm ok. When I have to do something new, or go somewhere new, my anxiety spikes to the roof and I become even clumsier.
At the moment I am away to a work conference and everything is so amplified. Needed to find my way through a new city and the uni campus, carry stuff, socialise, hang a poster to the panel, balance a plate and a glass while trying to eat, all of this killed me yesterday. So I was going back to the hotel with a colleague who was walking pretty fast, and fell down twice (I only had one glass of white wine).
I can't take this shit anymore, I want a diagnosis of anything so I can put a label on myself and adjust people's expectations accordingly, otherwise I'm always the careless silly one. I feel so down today, am actually crying while I type.
Where do I go from here?