Think i need to talk someone

[RareNewt]

I'll start by saying I'm not a unhappy person, I'm generally happy, but I feel there's something that's holding me back, ive have no love for my body, I always feel like I'm getting left out, I try and avoid conflict, I don't like stepping outside my comfort zone. I'm nearly 40 and I dont know who I am. I'd like to be happy and confident, id like to not feel I need to depend on anyone. I'd like to be happy with my own company. I don't know where to start.....

if you can afford it, I really recommend therapy. Choose something like psychodynamic therapy which explores how your childhood affects you now. A good therapist can help you with that. My therapist also did somatic therapy which teaches you how to listen and appreciate and rely on your body.,

I think you're right when you mention childhood, though a happy childhood there's some trauma around my dad, he left when young still saw him but never felt enough for him, even when older felt I was always doing the chasing. My DH doesn't like him.
I'll look into what you've advised.

Start with learning what your particular core beliefs are - the beliefs your developed to be truths about yourself, other people and the wider world when you were a child.

Once you've figured out which ones are holding you back the next step is to find the most appropriate therapy to challenge and update those thought patterns. Well presented CBT is a good start.

I dont have much great advice as im feeling the same way myself lately, but it does get better. Do what you feel is right for you, therapy, excersise, medicine from the doctor or pushing ypurself out of your comfort zone and socializing. Dont be disheartened if what you try isnt working and know you will get back to feeling better. Everyone goes through periods of time feeling this way even though it may not show on the outside. There is nothing wrong with you, take each day as it comes slowly and do something special for yourself within your budget e.g coffee, nails, hair or a long hot sshower or bath. All these things im sure people have mentioned and u know, but just be kind to yourself. Wishing you all the happiness in the world

I'd agree with this. Another person recommended CBT, but most CBT therapists I know would take one issue at a time, and actively keep away from some things, so you're better suited to psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapy.

www.bpc.org.uk/information-support/find-a-therapist-or-clinic/?specialism=14&availability=&registration=&language=

I've looked at cbt, I wondered if that would help, I think for me I'm going to have a good research into counseling in my area, a referral is going to be months on the waiting list, and I'd rather not take up a place that someone needs more than me. I've also looked at self help, so things like suggested above and also trying the writing down method, so write down what I'm feeling and ask myself why and write the answer

As I posted on an earlier thread, CBT can be hit and miss depending on the practitioner. This course is (IMHO) excellent both in terms of the content and presentation:

www.udemy.com/course/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-online-course-cbt-practitioner-course/?couponCode=25BBPMXINACTIVE

I would agree that psychoanalytic / psychodynamic might be most appropriate here.
look up psychoanalytic training institutes to find out about low or moderate fees

Absolutely this. I'm aware of at least three low-fee psychoanalysis areas, London, West Midlands and West Yorkshire. You usually have to commit to going three times per week or more, but it can be as cheap as £1/session.