How do I know if anti depressants would help?

[Florabella]

I am sitting crying on a Sunday afternoon. It’s a lovely day, but I can’t face doing anything. I have no energy. Getting through the days feels like wading through treacle and I just look forward to going back to bed. I don’t see a future for myself, I am just exhausted. Doing anything is just too much effort

it’s easier when I am busy at work - I just have to get on with things and gave no time to sit and feel sorry for myself. I do go out with friends and have a nice time, but that is just a short respite from my actual life. I am single, three teenagers, run two businesses and I have had enough. I have no energy to change my life. I don’t know where to go from here, just counting down the hours until I can sleep again and don’t have to put on a front to my children or my friends and pretend I am ok.

I meant to go back to my title question. Do you think it is worth trying antidepressants. I have been like this for a couple of years. It’s not every day, but it’s worse at the moment

I'm sorry you are feeling so shit. It's rubbish. The only way to know is to try them. They are very effective so it is worth giving it a go. Good luck.

I didn’t realise how low I really felt, until the antidepressants started to kick in and I felt like I could breathe again. Things stopped feeling like a massive effort. I stopped wanting to stab people who stood too close to me to me or breathed too loudly (dh!). I started sleeping through the night. I started making time for myself and booked a monthly massage and facial - I never would have done that previously as I didn’t feel worthy of kindness to myself.

It took the full 3 weeks my GP mentioned before I suddenly realised that I was feeling better, so you do need to persevere.

Can I ask how old you are, OP? Because that feeling of hopelessness and worn outness can be part of perimenopause and hrt might be worth considering to rebalance your hormones. Also, you are dealing with a huge amount - 3 teens, 2 businesses - no wonder you're overwhelmed and fed up.

Antidepressants help some people, about 50% on average. Worth a try but also consider talking therapy, just some protected time for you, to be heard and supported.

Thanks for the replies. I am 53 and already on hrt. That has helped with the hot flushes and rages, but I am still not sleeping well.

What happened a couple of years ago?

I’ve heard incredible things about microdosing mushrooms or Ayuaska, a bit woo woo but I’d be more tempted to try that then get on anti depressants which will be hard to come off

You should definitely try antidepressants and give it a good few months - because any effect takes time for the meds to accumulate in you body. And the dose needs to be right - the initial low dose may not be enough.

Prior to that - or in parallel - chat with your doctor - as you may need to tweak your HRT to slightly higher dose. Mine is a gel pump - and if I am not sleeping, or get mood swings - I take an extra pump for a bit (i.e. take 3 not 2, which was my original dose. As was my gyno advice.

Good luck!!!

I have seen ads for those and wondered about trying it, but wasn’t sure if it was just snake oil salesmen

My friends are all pretty alternative and swear by it. Would try CBT too. I’m in a similar boat been really down recently and was thinking to give these a go

It can be such a hard time in our lives, huge physical changes going on, we're knackered, still caring for others, no longer having the same patience, energy etc that we used to have. I'd definitely have an hrt review, you may need a different type or dose if your sleep is still poor and mood low. Or you may "just" be bloody fed up and need some support. Who are your sources of support, and do they know how you're feeling or do you hide it?

I split up with my partner three years ago. Life is easier in lots of ways without him, but unfortunately I still have to have a lot to do with him and he is no real help with the kids

I think it's worth a chat with your GP. They aren't a cure-all but they have certainly made my life much easier.

When was the last time you had your iron levels checked?

So does this mean you have a potentially open ended depressing situation - is it linked to your businesses and kids?

Are you currently not busy at work?

op…. Worth a shot if only for your teenagers to have their mum happy again

Any holidays planned to look forward to?

Have you thought of trying counselling or psychotherapy first op? Only say this because I wish I’d done this first, I was told 20 odd years ago
depressIon was a chemical imbalance in my brain and prescribed antidepressants, have struggled to come off them since, apart from during ttc & pregnancy. Recently watched videos on YouTube by Dr Josef Witt-doerring about tapering off and realised it wasn’t my brain chemistry and was very much my life situation / effects it was having on me at the time. I have a history of emotional abuse within my family and that was at the core of everything, appreciate everyone’s situation is unique though.

Lots of questions - thank you, I appreciate the support. I do have a strong support network of friends, but because it is an ongoing issue I don’t want to constantly be the wet blanket - it can get wearing, even for the best of friends.
yes, my ex is involved in one of the businesses, which has been hard, but to be honest I do it all now anyway which actually makes it easier. They have both been really busy and have taken all my energy (as have all the teenagers sitting exams)

i have had counselling which helped me deal with some of the issues I had with my ex, and it was useful in how I dealt with him, but I stopped getting much out of it when it was dealing with how low I felt.

i did wonder if it might be worth getting iron levels checked as my energy is so low. Maybe I should try that first and also happy to try mushrooms/cbt. I hate the idea of getting hooked on something like antidepressants

Definitely get your iron levels done, that can make a huge difference. And speak to your doctor about reviewing your hrt - adding in testosterone can help with energy and motivation, although many gps aren't well informed about it. Have a look at Balance Menopause about the benefits of testosterone as part of hrt.