Anyone on the other side of postnatal depression?

[Orlahoping]

I thought I had escaped it as my little boy (my first and probably only) is 6 months, but it has just bitten me in the arse and I feel sad and worried that I might not feel happy again.

I am starting therapy and meds, and doing the best I can do look after myself. But I just feel so hopeless and sad, like my life in meaningless and that I won't be a good mum, even though I love my son fiercely.

Anyone else gone/going through this and want to share some positive thoughts or stories?

Yes. I had severe postnatal depression with my eldest. It was terrifying and I'm not quite sure sometimes how we muddled through. I had much better pre-emptive support with my next pregnancy and was ... Just always OK. Just never anything like it again. I don't know where or quite how it drained away but it did and now I almost struggle to recall how bad it was because it is feels unreal, like a very long, very bad dream. Wishing you all of the luck and warmth in the world.

Thank you ❤️. Sorry for your experience. Depression is the worst, such a liar. Hoping I can stay afloat as I'm recognising it early and doing all that I can, with a supportive husband.

I was clobbered with it when second baby was several months old. Meds for a while but then the side effects became a bigger problem along with guilt about having nothing to be ‘depressed’ about. Cutting myself some slack with getting stuff done, timetabling regular exercise, good nutrition especially b vitamins and a brilliant husband all helped the most. It will pass.

@Orlahoping I had post natal depression with my second and recognising how you are feeling.

I didn't think I would ever feel okay again, but I did. I got better and you will too.

Well done for reaching out for help. Be kind to yourself.

I had postnatal depression after having my daughter, it started at 3 weeks and at 10 months I was admitted to a mother and baby unit with severe treatment resistant depression and psychosis. I was feeling pretty hopeless and felt like I would never get back to who I was before. I went from mat leave to sick leave and spent 10 weeks in hospital.
I started a phased return soon after leaving hospital just 2 days a week at first. I made it up to 4 days around 14 months and stuck at that.
I had therapy from 6 months to 2 years with the infant parenting service and that made a huge difference. I did take until 2 years to fully recover but I got there
I have had poor mental health my entire adult life and this was hands down my most difficult episode. The combination of sleep deprivation, hormones and having a tiny dependent for me was a very hard combination. Said tiny human has reflux and allergies that was a contributing factor. She's nearly 5 now and I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my second but it took a long time to feel up to trying again

Hey OP.

Yeah, out the other side here. It hit me HARD with my first child. I just want to send you a massive hug and tell you that it will be okay, I promise.

It took me quite a while to get through it, but the journey taught me SO much and it's given me the ability to empathise with other new mums who face what I did.

For what it's worth, I've actually just written a post about having a heavenly (yet very mundane) moment in our garden. I remember thinking I'd never feel how I just felt, and t's taken a lot of personal work and development to get here but it's worth it, and believe me, you'll get there.

Sending you so much love 💕

I am pretty sure I had it with my second. I didn't get help for it though as I'd had a bad experience with stetraline in the past and decided it wasn't for me. I just coasted until a traumatic event when he was 18 months, snapped me out of it. That was a year ago, not a standard treatment, I know but it made me appreciate him and my life more. I also find 2 year olds so much more fun than 6-15 month old babies. Also I cried a lot during the traumatic event and my pnd was numb and hopeless rather than crying so the emotions were good.

I had it after first two babies but not third. Ended up on sertraline each time and also in talking therapy and EMDR for pregnancy related trauma. Times were bleak. Imleft the house at 2am one day after another night of disrupted sleep ( baby, toddler, my anxiety) with the intention of heading down to the river. It was the depths of winter and I was in a nightie. Honestly, it was fucking hideous. I HATED my husband and loathed my children but also thought they would all be better of without me.
Today, I have two in secondary school, one in final year of primary, have retrained and am just about to go back into the work place in my new profession. DH and I still going strong. It WILL get better, I promise. Xxxc

Thanks for sharing your stories. Am trying to stabilise on meds and start therapy tomorrow

Yes me! The baby will be 18 tomorrow! It didn't damage our bond at all, love her to pieces and we get on great.

I took citalopram from when she was 4 months old. I came off them after 18 months and I've been fine ever since.

I even had another baby and didn't have any problem at all second time around.

You will be ok, just keep going. Try and do stuff to help yourself- eat well (eat your vegetables), try to get sleep (easier said than done) and walk with the baby in the buggy. Don't put pressure on yourself, if everyone is clean and fed at the end of a day, that's a good day.

Maybe try and find some mum friends with similar age babies- it helps to know you aren't alone.

Hello, I know this is an older thread, but I wonder if anyone could offer some support?

Original poster I hope you are doing much better now, it’s such a difficult journey.

Thank you to everyone who shared their stories, I’m 17 months post partum with my second, diagnosed with PPD. I’m on sertraline and have had CBT for health anxiety.

I am so up and down, I have really good weeks, followed by feelings of sadness and worry, deep anxiety which feels like it comes out of no where. Often this coincides with my cycle. This up and down is exhausting, I should say my lows now are no where near as severe as my lows at the beginning. They are rather awful though, I guess I was naive, I thought I would be over this by now.

Does any of this ring true for anyone?

Thank you so much, I’m so glad many of you are out the other side.