Anxiety is getting worse

[BlueSeagull]

i have always been a worrier but the anxiety along side this is getting worse. I have just had perfectly normal conversation with someone at the gym and something I said could have come across wrong ( it wasn’t meant negatively at all was actually meant as a compliment) I get so nervous talking to people 😞

any way I keep going over what I said (normal so far) but the spiral after….. I should probably change gyms so I don’t see them again, they are going to thing I am awful, they are a really person and I enjoy talking to them and I have ruined it, this is why no one likes me.

i have always been over sensitive but this is a whole new level and it’s happening more and more I hate this. How can i get this much under control

You say you've always been a worrier – was anyone in your family the same?

@Eyesopenwideawake yes but not to this level

Sorry you’re struggling so much. Definitely speak to your gp if you haven’t already.

Have a look at DBT skills online, they will help you to stop the spiral when it starts.

But definitely go to your GP, long term you’ll need professional input.

Im like this too , but I’m sure that the other person didn’t think anything of it. Don’t move gyms, if you see them again maybe explain you have anxiety and it didn’t mean to come across as bad. We all sometimes say things that come across different to how we meant to say it ( if that makes any sense ) but I understand it’s’ also a minefield too if you don’t know the person that well.

GP, soon as possible.

I thought I had to just "manage", get it under control, pull myself together, power through etc. because that's what I'd been told by my (I now realise) equally anxious mother.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would've been if I'd got help for my anxiety in my 20's instead of leaving it to my 30's. It's taken a year to find the right combination of medication and therapy but my life is 100% better now I've stopped treating anxiety like a personality flaw and started treating it like an illness.

Thank you so much for the replies I have been telling myself for too long it’s normal but these spirals worry me, I have gone to some bad places about other situations even to DH would be better if I left and he could meet someone else.

I know it’s getting worse I often find my self clenching my jaw, I hate feeling like this I get in my own head and it’s so so hard to get back out 😞

@JudgeBread that’s exactly what I do see it as a flaw

OK, so it's something you grew up believing to be normal but now it's getting out of control. How old are you? What else is going on in your life? It is possible to change this way of thinking and behaving even if you can't pinpoint the cause.

I am late 30s , I wondered if it was the beginning of perimenopause. But as anxiety has always been something I lived with didn’t didn’t give much thought until these spirally started happening

We all live with anxiety - it's the emotion that's triggered when there's something that's too important to ignore. This could be something as basic as putting the bins out on time to getting out of a burning building or bad relationship.

On a 1-10 scale it should bump along at 2-3 for daily stuff, jumping to 5-6 when the 'thing' is important (such as getting to the airport/an important meeting on time). Although it doesn't feel nice it is an important part of our everyday life.

What's your average score and peak points?

My anxiety went off the charts when I hit late 30s - so your age. I'd always suffered with poor mental health previous to this age , but it manifested as severe depression. Come my late thirties, anxiety showed up: racing thoughts, inability to sleep, daily palpitations, paranoia. Looking back and a decade on, this corresponded with peri menopause. Gp did blood tests at the time to check hormone levels but everything came back fine, so I was told it wasn't menopause related. But peri can start ten years before your final period, so I know now that's incorrect. Definitely get to the gp, it's unlikely they'll agree to hrt but a low dose of antidepressants can definitely help. And arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible - you're not going mad, there will be a reason for all this!

@Eyesopenwideawake Yes that’s normal anxiety. It’s not normal when you suffer everyday it’s debilitating when it’s like this.
@BlueSeagull I agree with @JudgeBread time to see your GP. I started with awful anxiety last November, became very depressed with it. Antidepressants can really help and help you to function again

Thank you for the replies I think it’s time to see GP, it’s just getting worse I am now going back over past (from years ago) ‘mistakes’ and giving myself a hard time ‘no wonder no one likes me’ ‘I don’t deserve (name) in my life’ ‘if I moved away and started again it would be better for everyone’ 💔 I hate feeling like this.

Hey, I totally understand what you're going through. Social anxiety can turn even small interactions into overwhelming spirals of doubt and self-criticism. You're not alone a lot of us have been there, replaying conversations over and over and assuming the worst.

But what you're describing doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means you're sensitive, caring, and perhaps dealing with anxiety that’s been left unmanaged for too long. The good news is it can be managed.

I’d love to recommend a short guide that helped me and others take back control from these anxious thoughts. It’s called Mental Health and Wellness: Practical Solutions for a Balanced Life. It offers simple, science-backed techniques to manage overthinking, build daily calm, and reduce social anxiety even just a few minutes a day can help. If you’re open to checking it out.

You deserve to feel at peace not punished by your own mind. You’re doing better than you think. 🤍