Suicidal thoughts for a few years

[Fblake1]

Hi, I'm a single mum and I find it very hard. I get extremely down and have very dark thoughts. Last night for instance I woke in the middle of the night and was thinking I just wish I was dead, I hate my life [redacted]*. Then I eventually fell back asleep but when I woke I had the same intense thoughts on suicide. I got through a few hours and the thoughts came back. It is now 6.30pm and I've gone back to bed in the hope I can sleep and won't have to experience these thoughts. This has been going on for a very long time

Is there anyone else here in a similar situation? Or who has a friend or family member in a similar situation? What did they do to improve things?

I've tried anti depressants but didn't find them to help. And I saw a therapist also. I really am at my wits end. I am tired of this life now. Anyone have any thoughts?

You need to go back to your gp..

try a different therapist .

There are reasons you feel the way you do

Hi OP, I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling. I have also been in this position before. Have you considered calling Samaritans on 116 123 to talk things through?
https://www.samaritans.org
I have found it helpful to have someone to listen to in the past.
I do urge you to go back to your GP to discuss alternative medication or therapy, there will be other options available to you.
Please remember that you are not alone and there is always help available x

Hello OP, we're so sorry to read what you're going through.

We can see that you're getting some good advice and support on your thread already but we thought it important to signpost you to a few places where you can get support in real life, too, and know that you're not alone with this.

Do take a look at our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Some further support links:
NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

Very best wishes from MNHQ

Sounds more like Intrusive thoughts than genuine suicidal intent. These are very very common & virtually everyone experiences them at some point especially when stressed or feeling low.
There's lots of free app & online based talking therapy or see if there's any free NHS talking therapies in your area.

A decent sleep pattern will help a lot too.
Going to bed at 6.30 pm is just going to make the problem worse as you will inevitably wake in the middle of the night & experience more intrusive thoughts.
Tomorrow make yourself stay awake until a reasonable time eg 9pm & keep up a good sleep hygiene routine of no napping especially later on in the afternoon & evening as this will create a vicious cycle of poor sleep & intrusive thoughts.
Cut out caffeine & alcohol as they are both triggers for poor sleep & intrusive thoughts.